Misheard song lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody.
This page contains all the misheard lyrics for Monty Python that have been submitted to this site and the old collection from inthe80s started in 1996.
For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.
There are 13 misheard song lyrics for Monty Python on amIright currently.
There are also Monty Python misheard lyrics stories also available.
"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" (MP3)
If life seems Johnny Rotten,
there's something you've forgotten,
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
If life seems jolly rotten,
there's something you've forgotten,
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
"Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" (MP3)
Enjoy it, it's your last chance of the hour
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow
"Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" (MP3)
Your husband just decapitated the babysitter
Your husband just decamped with the babysitter
This was a different version of the song released in the UK in 1991, the lyrics of which differ slightly to the 70s version taken from The Life of Brian movie (the line I misheard does not appear in the original 1979 version of the song but appears in the 1991 release).
"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (MP3)
You must always face the curtain with a bear
You must always face the curtain with a bow
"I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" (MP3)
Give 'em a twist, a chicken's assist
That's what the snowman said.
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist
That's what the showman said.
"I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" (MP3)
That's what the Sherman said
That's what the showman said.
"I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" (MP3)
That's what the shaman said.
That's what the showman said.
"Isn't It Awfully Nice To Have A Penis?"
Isn't it awfully nice to have some peanuts?
Isn't it awfully nice to have a thong?
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it awfully nice to have a d***?
He's a door mat and he's ok.
He's a lumberjack and he's ok.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lava tree.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to another tree.
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
"The Philosopher Song"
Emanuel Kant was a real kiss mass who was verry rarely able
Hidigger Hidigger was a foozy checker who could drink beer under the table
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table
"You Won't Succeed On Broadway"
You won't succeed on Broadway if you don't have any Jews.
You won't succeed on Broadway if you don't have any dues.