Misheard song lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody.
This page contains all the misheard lyrics for Weird Al Yankovic that have been submitted to this site and the old collection from inthe80s started in 1996.
For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.
There are 439 misheard song lyrics for Weird Al Yankovic on amIright currently.
There are also Weird Al Yankovic misheard lyrics stories also available.
"A Complicated Song" (MP3)
Like string cheese
Extra cheese
You can play some berry-mental-low
You can play some Barry Manilow
"Addicted To Spuds" (MP3)
My anus will face it, I'm addicted to spuds.
Might as well face it, I'm addicted to spuds.
"Addicted To Spuds" (MP3)
Your greasy bands, your salty lips
Your greasy hands, your salty lips
"Addicted to Spuds" (MP3)
Hash grounds
Hash browns
"Addicted to Spuds" (MP3)
Of Beggin' Strips
Of bacon bits
"Addicted to Spuds" (MP3)
Peek-a-boo or French pride
Baked or boiled or French fried
"Addicted to Spuds" (MP3)
You planned a trip and I don't know
You planned a trip to Idaho
"Addicted to Spuds" (MP3)
You planned to trip and I don't know
You planned a trip to Idaho
"Albuquerque"
'Cause I had my training table up
And my seat belt in the fool-a-bride position.
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position.
"Albuquerque"
Albut Keerkey
Albuquerque
"Albuquerque"
Alva kirky
Albuquerque
"Albuquerque"
And the in-flight movie was violent with Pauly Shore.
or
And the in-flight movie was 'Viadol' with Pauly Shore.
or
And the in-flight movie was 'Viaduct' with Pauly Shore.
And the in-flight movie was 'Bio-Dome' with Pauly Shore.
"Albuquerque"
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"V" (V)
"U" (U)
"kirky" (kirky)
I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)
"Albuquerque"
I would not sleep for an instant until
The one-mouthed snowman was brought to justice.
I would not sleep for an instant until
The one-nostrilled man was brought to justice.
"Albuquerque"
Where the cows are oh so fluffy
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
"Albuquerque"
Where the shriners and the leopards
play their ukuleles all day long
Where the shriners and the lepers
Play their ukuleles all day long.
"Amish Paradise"
An Amish with a tool,
you know that's unheard of!
An Amish with a 'tude,
you know that's unheard of!
"Amish Paradise"
An Amish with a tool
You know that's a hurdle.
An Amish with a 'tude
You know that's unheard of!
"Amish Paradise"
And my homies agree, I really look good in Blackpool
And my homies agree, I really look good in black... fool
Blackpool is a seaside resort in England.
"Amish Paradise"
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my brain
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
"Amish Paradise"
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish dying
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
"Amish Paradise"
Even Zeeky's ill thinks my hind has gone.
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind has gone.
"Amish Paradise"
Even a sequel thinks that my mind has gone!
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind has gone.
"Amish Paradise"
I take a look at my life
I take a look at my wife
"Amish Paradise"
I turn butter once or twice
I churned butter once or twice
"Amish Paradise"
I'm the pious guy the little Amish want to be like.
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like.
"Amish Paradise"
I'm the pious guy the little omelets want to be like.
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like.
"Amish Paradise"
I'm the pious guy the little omelettes want to be like.
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be like.
You really can't help but hear it this way.
"Amish Paradise"
My brother and I have to get medieval, your highness.
My brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie.
"Amish Paradise"
My brother, I might have to get in even with your heinie.
My brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie.
"Amish Paradise"
Soon I'll raise my mother
Soon I'll raise another
"Amish Paradise"
We keep spending most of our time
We keep spending most our lives
"Amish Paradise"
We're all crazy men and eyes
Livin' in an Amish Paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Livin' in an Amish Paradise
"Amish Paradise"
We're all crazy men and nice
Livin' in an Amish Paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Livin' in an Amish Paradise
"Amish Paradise"
We're all crazy men and nice
We're all crazy Mennonites
"Amish Paradise"
We're all crazy men and wives
We're all crazy Mennonites
"Amish Paradise"
We're all crazy men at night
Living in an Amish Paradise.
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish Paradise.
"Amish Paradise"
We're all crazy men on ice
We're all crazy Mennonites
"Amish Paradise"
We're just crazy men in tights
We're all crazy Mennonites
"Amish Paradise"
We're old crazy men with kites
or
We're all crazy men with rice
We're all crazy Mennonites
"Amish Paradise"
We've been stranded most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise.
"Another One Rides the Bus" (MP3)
And another coleslaw
And another comes on
"Another One Rides the Bus" (MP3)
Has a shower for a year
Hasn't showered in a year
"Another One Rides the Bus" (MP3)
Hey, he's gonna s*** by you
Hey, he's gonna sit by you
"Another One Rides the Bus" (MP3)
With the parfaits in the back
With the perverts in the back
'Cause I've got all my X-Y's on my chest
'Cause I've got all my ex-wives on my chest
Got an Aerodactyl for a windshield wiper.
Got a pterodactyl for windshield wiper.
Aerodactyl is a Pokemon character, which did not yet exist at the time this song was written. Therefore this mishearing is not plausible.
Realized I was living in the stone age
No fax, no silly little phone-age
Realized I'm living in the Stone Age
No fax, no cellular phone-age
We do a little dance and then we drink a little Beano
We do a little bowling, then we drink a little vino
Any way to include
Any way the wind blows
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for weed.
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me.
No one really matters
Nothing really matters
Chucky wants to grow up and be a porno star.
Chucky wants to grow up and be a polo star.
"Buy Me A Condo"
Ja, Ja, ja, ja, life is so very hard
I need a (job) job, job, job
Jacuzzi in me back yard.
Ja, ja, ja, ja, life is so very hard
I need a (ja) ja, ja, ja
Jacuzzi in my backyard.
"CNR"
Ninja warrior, master of the skies
Ninja warrior, master of disguise
"Cable TV"
And I was just about ready to curl a Ban Dai
or
And I was just about ready to curl a bend dye.
And I was just about ready to curl up and die.
"Cable TV"
I got the Siamese faith weirdo's network
I got the Siamese Faith Healer's network
"Canadian Idiot"
Cheaper meds, and Robinson Kleenair
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
"Canadian Idiot"
Cheaper meds, and robbing some Kleenair.
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air.
"Canadian Idiot"
Don't wanna be some Venezuelan hockey nut.
Don't want to be some beer swillin' hockey nut.
"Canadian Idiot"
Then a can while they gasoline Dion
Then again well they got Celine Dion
"Cavity Search"
U jabbed minder vending
Driving in the seine.
You jab at my nerve endings
It's driving me insane.
"Christmas at Ground Zero"
Hispanic in the crown
There's panic in the crowd
"Christmas at Ground Zero"
No more time for laughing or shopping
No more time for last-minute shopping
"Close, But No Cigar"
The only caviar was one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
The only caveat was one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big
"Close, But No Cigar"
Vivian was her name
She was sweeter than aspratake.
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame.
"Confessions Part III"
Remember that s*** you got me for my birthday?
Remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?
"Craigslist"
Do you want my Styrofoam penis?
You can have my Styrofoam penis.
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts.
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
Bite, or I'll have to feed you.
Bite the hand that feeds you.
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
Burger handle, apple pants!
Burn your candle at both ends
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
Like you'll get coarse in the mouth
Look a gift horse in the mouth
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
Punch a dead horse in the mouth.
Look a gift horse in the mouth
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
Then fart into your phone
It's the Dracula way.
Then party 'til you're broke
And they drag you away.
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
You can just give up and shit
You can just give up the ship
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
You can just give up the s***.
You can just give up the ship.
"Dare To Be Stupid" (MP3)
You'd better find yourself a little scratch
You'd better find yourself an itch to scratch
"Dare to Be Stupid" (MP3)
But you can't go up your pants
Like a gift horse in the mud
Burn your candle at both ends
Look a gift horse in the mouth
"Dare to Be Stupid" (MP3)
Look for Mr. Goofus
Look for Mr. Goodbar
"Dare to Be Stupid" (MP3)
Plug a gift horse in the mouth
Look a gift horse in the mouth
"Dare to Be Stupid" (MP3)
Settle down with a family
Settle down, raise a family
"Dare to Be Stupid" (MP3)
Take someone in nickels
Look for Mr. Goofball
or
Take some more nickels
Look for Mr. Good Boy
Take some wooden nickels
Look for Mr. Goodbar
"Do I Creep You Out?"
You'll be stinkin' all you got.
Your restraining order's out.
"Don't Download This Song"
Maybe you will feel the urge
To break into national copyright law.
Maybe you will feel the urge
To break international copyright law.
"Don't Download This Song"
The wreckage of where you belong
The record store's where you belong
"Don't Download This Song"
To break into national copyright law.
To break international copyright law.
"Don't Wear Those Shoes"
But I'm begging you down on my bandaged knees.
But I'm begging you down on my bended knees.
"Don't Wear Those Shoes"
I'd do anything to beat you
I'd do anything to please you
Don't wanna hear about what kind of food you ate
Don't wanna hear about what kind of food you hate
Don't you make me defeat it
Don't you make me repeat it
Don't you tell me you're a bull
(later)
I don't care if you're a bull
Don't you tell me you're full
(later)
I don't care if you're full
Get yourself an egg and bean it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have a bandanna
Have a banana
How come you're always such a f***ing young man?
How come you're always such a fussy young man?
How come you're always such a fussy young flan,
Don't want no Captain Kush, don't want no Raisin Bran,
Well, don't you know that other kids are restarting in Jag Pan.
So deceit it, just deceit it
How come you're always such a fussy young man,
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran,
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan.
So eat it, just eat it.
I don't wanna be bait
I don't wanna debate
If it's getting cold, believe it
If it's getting cold, reheat it
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fries
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Now if you fart to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
Now if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
Now if you start to dance, you'll just have yourself a plate
Now if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
Now if you start to death
You just have yourself complain
Now, if you starve to death
You'll just have yourself to blame
Well don't you know that other kids are story in Japan?
Well don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
"Ebay"
A rare mint snow blob
A rare mint snow globe
"Ebay"
I'll buy your charge keys
I'll buy your tchochkes
"Ebay"
The kinda fluff you tow away
The kind of stuff you throw away
"Ebay"
The kindest of your throwaway
The kinda stuff you throw away.
"Everything You Know Is Wrong"
I was abducted by some aliens whose face
Looked like Jamie Farr.
I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr.
Because I'm big, I'm big
Because I'm fat, I'm fat
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, or rye
or
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, or white
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right
Ham on, ham on, have an whole wheat, all right!
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right.
Ham on, ham on. I'm a Norwegian. Alright.
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, alright.
Hey mon, hey mon
Hey mon, are we, all right?
Ham on, ham on
Ham on whole wheat, all right.
I take up seven roses
I take up seven rows
I'm fat, I'm back, sham on.
I'm fat, I'm fat, come on.
I'm fat, I'm fat, Shamu
I'm fat, I'm fat, come on.
It clearly sounds like he's saying "Sham on!" instead of "Come on!"
I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone
I'm fat, I'm fat, come on.
My fingers bust
My buttons break.
My zippers bust
My buckles break.
You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really really fat)
You know I'm fat, you know, shampoo.
You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat, fat, really, really fat)
You know I'm fat, you know, hoo.
Some of the background vocals are simultaneous with the lead vocals in this part.
Your body's white
Well, mine is too.
Your butt is wide
Well, mine is too.
Your butt is wide, well minus two
Your butt is wide, well mine is too
"First World Problems"
I'm pretty sure the monkeys in this airport lounge ain't gluten-free.
I'm pretty sure the cookies in this airport lounge ain't gluten-free.
"Foil"
In case an alien's inclined,
to program, bug, or read your mind.
In case an alien's inclined,
to probe your butt or read your mind.
"Foil"
Put it in your Kool-Aid
Stick it in your cooler
"Foil"
Stick it in your pool ball
Stick it in your cooler
"Foil"
Stick it in your tool box
Stick it in your cooler
"Gandhi II"
Don't move, Slangboy.
Don't move, Slimeball.
They're snooty and rude
They like discussing food.
They're snooty and rude
They like disgusting food.
"Germs"
They're gonna possess me.
It kind of upsets me.
"Girls Just Want To Have Lunch"
When I'm without my Diner's Card
Their eyes get so wide.
When I whip out my Diner's Card
Their eyes get so wide.
"Grapefruit Diet"
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Gotta deep-freeze my derriere!
Grapefruit diet (Diet!)
Gotta decrease my derriere!
"Grapefruit Diet"
I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like they ate moss.
I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss.
"Grapefruit Diet"
When I leave a room
First I gotta greet the door.
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door.
"Gump"
He told J.F.K. that he really had to be.
He told J.F.K. that he really had to pee.
"Gump"
He's done
He's Gump
"Gump"
He's gone
He's Gump
"Gump"
He's scum! He's scum!
He's Gump! He's Gump!
Your daddy's in the ghetto with a wretch and a whore
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Psycho Four
Your daddy's in the ghetto with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
Your daddy's in the gutter with the red shirt in the floor.
Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor.
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle
Power f***ers, spoons and ladles.
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle
Power foggers, spoons and ladles.
Motherf***ers
Bug detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages
Thermostats and bucter-flucters
Tire gauges, hamster cages
Thermostats and bug deflectors
"Headline News"
He had K-Marts all over Havana
He had cave marks all over his bottom
"Headline News"
Took a trip to see a porn
Took a trip to Singapore
"Hooked On Polkas"
Oh, what fun, got the doo, got the doo, yeah?
Oh, what's love, got to do, got to do with it?
A snippet from the song "What's Love Got To Do With It" by Tina Turner
"I Can't Watch This" (MP3)
Frick it down!
Break it down!
"I Can't Watch This" (MP3)
Mephisto and Ebert's bums
Oughta go home and just sit on their thumbs.
Those Siskel and Ebert bums
Oughta go home and just sit on their thumbs.
"I Can't Watch This" (MP3)
Somebody's 401 falls down off the roof.
Somebody's poor old mom falls down off the roof.
"I Can't Watch This" (MP3)
Stop! Rated R!
Stop! Cable time!
"I Lost On Jeopardy!" (MP3)
Against a plumber, win an architect, both with a BHT
Against a plumber, oh, and an architect, both with a Ph.D
"I Lost On Jeopardy!" (MP3)
I took Pope for Me for $100
I took potpourri for $100
"I Lost On Jeopardy!" (MP3)
I want some Japanese ladies
I lost on Jeopardy!, baby
"I Lost On Jeopardy" (MP3)
Against a plumber pullin' an architect
Against a plumber, oh, and an architect
"I Lost On Jeopardy" (MP3)
I lost 10th
I lost nervous
I was tense
I was nervous
"I Lost On Jeopardy" (MP3)
Just tell me now what I did and when, yeah, yeah
Just tell me now what I didn't win, yeah, yeah
"I Lost on Jeopardy!" (MP3)
My hope of swimming sank
My hope of winning sank
"I Lost on Jeopardy!" (MP3)
Well, I'm giving up Don Pablo's
Well, I'm giving up, Don Pardo.
"I Lost on Jeopardy" (MP3)
I guess I just wasn't too right
I guess I just wasn't too bright
"I Lost on Jeopardy" (MP3)
I was blessed
I was tense
"I Lost on Jeopardy" (MP3)
You're a complete blues-er!
You're a complete loser!
The last sentence of Don Pardo's voiceover speech, which occurs during the instrumental break.
"I Love Rocky Road" (MP3)
Don't give me no crummy teaspoon
Don't give me no crummy taste spoon
Grammatically speaking, it should be "Don't give me *a* crummy taste spoon."
"I Love Rocky Road" (MP3)
I want rocky road
I love rocky road
"I Love Rocky Road" (MP3)
Keep a couple quarters in my locker at school.
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school.
"I Think I'm A Clone Now" (MP3)
I've been on Oprah Winfrey, I'm lonely now.
I've been on Oprah Winfrey, I'm world renowned.
"I Think I'm A Clone Now" (MP3)
Paper 'duced to carbon copy man.
They produced a carbon copy man.
"I Think I'm A Clone Now" (MP3)
Well, I can be my own defendant
I can send myself for pizza.
Well, I can be my own best friend
And I can send myself for pizza.
"I Think I'm a Clone Now" (MP3)
I think I'm a grown-up
I think I'm a clone now
"I Think I'm a Clone Now" (MP3)
I've been an Oakland Raider
I've been on Oprah Winfrey
"I Think I'm a Clone Now" (MP3)
Isn't it strained?
Isn't it strange?
"I Want A New Duck"
And now, what I think.
or
I know what I think.
or
I'm out, I think.
A mallard, I think.
"I Want A New Duck"
Dammit!
Get it?
"I Want a New Duck"
I want a new dog
I want a new duck
"I Want a New Duck"
One that won't try to fight
One that won't try to fight
"I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead" (MP3)
Now's the time to go for a roll just so you can grab.
Now's the time to go for all the gusto you can grab.
"I'll Sue Ya"
I sued Toys 'R Us 'cuz I swallowed an earth ball
And then it choked to death.
I sued Toys 'R Us 'cuz I swallowed a Nerf Ball
And nearly choked to death.
"I'll Sue Ya"
I sued Toys 'R' Us
'Cause I swallowed a Nerf ball, and then I choked to death.
I sued Toys 'R' Us
'Cause I swallowed a Nerf ball and nearly choked to death.
"I'll Sue Ya"
I'll fake all my money
I'll take all your money
"I'm So Sick Of You"
Why do you have my apron?
Give my best regards to Satan.
"I'm So Sick Of You"
Yeah your feet are all yellow
Your blood's made of Jell-O
or
Yeah your meats are all yellow
Your bug's made of Jell-O.
Yeah, your teeth are all yellow
Your butt's made of Jell-O.
"I'm So Sick Of You"
You've got a U.N. body odor.
You've got inhuman body odor.
"I'm So Sick Of You"
You've got a human body odor.
or
You've gotten cumin body odor.
You've got inhuman body odor.
"I'm So Sick Of You"
You've got the ham of a flock of coronas.
You've got the hair of a boxing promoter.
"I'm So Sick Of You"
You've the hair of a Botox promoter.
You've got the hair of a boxing promoter.
"If That Isn't Love"
You're so beautiful
You're like an Oreo sunset
You look like a big fat turd, yeah
You're so beautiful
You make a glorious sunset
Look like a big fat turd, yeah
"Isle Thing"
At the local circuit K
At the local Circle K
Circle K is a convenience store chain.
"It's All About The Pentiums"
It's all about the panty hose, baby.
It's all about the Pentiums, baby.
"It's All About The Pentiums"
Nine to five chewin' out Hewlett-Packard.
Nine to five chillin' at Hewlett-Packard.
"It's All About the Pentiums"
Payin' my bills with my mathematic skills
Payin' my bills with my mad programming skills
"It's All About the Pentiums"
You think your Commodore 64 is really Neo
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
"Jerry Springer"
A bunch of sucky porn star midgets who were all nude.
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude.
"Jerry Springer"
Cheating lovers and cousins of Mary
Cheating lovers and cousins that marry
"Jerry Springer"
Cherry, Cherry! Now the crowd starts their favorite chance.
Jerry, Jerry! Now the crowd starts their favorite chant.
"Jerry Springer"
Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
Well, they had the swan freak.
Holy cow, did you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak.
"Jerry Springer"
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheating lovers and cousins named Mary
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheating lovers and cousins that marry
"Jerry Springer"
Jerry's the king of constipation.
Jerry's the king of confrontation.
"Jerry Springer"
Michael doesn't love you
That goat doesn't love you
"Jerry Springer"
Some monkey-f***ing drag queen
Some unsuspecting drag queen
"Jerry Springer"
Some mother-f**king drag queen
Some unsuspecting drag queen
"Jerry Springer"
That goat doesn't belong to you!
That goat doesn't love you!
"Jerry Springer"
They're always wearin'
Furs 'n', kickin' butt
At point-blank.
They're always swearin'
Cursin', kickin' butt
And pointin' blame.
"Jerry Springer"
When he found out that his wife had a sausage
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
'Cause they sure don't act like Barbie
'Cause they sure don't act like Barney
All the cobblestones are running wild
All the dinosaurs are running wild
All the dinosaurs will run alive
All the dinosaurs are running wild
They were going to BNA
They were cloning DNA
BNA is the airport code for Nashville International Airport.
They were growing DNA
They were cloning DNA
Well, this sure ain't no Egyptian.
Well, this sure ain't no E-ticket.
"King Of Suede"
There's a sale on our Doublemint slacks today.
There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today.
Fa-la-la-la-lasagna
La-la-la-la-lasagna
Have a some or a nada
Have-a some marinara
Would you like some zucchini, or my Hormel linguini?
Would you like some zucchini, or my homemade linguini?
You want a summer lasagna
You want-a some-a lasagna
Better give me all your Gossamers.
Better give me all your gauze, nurse.
Better give me all your commerce
Better give me all your gauze, nurse
Give me all your Cosmers.
Give me all your gauze, Nurse.
Whatever 'Cosmers' means...
Give me all your Gosmerts
Give my all your gauze, Nurse
Let me see that I.D.
Let me see that I.V.
ID is short for identification, while I.V. is short for intravenous.
Let me see that ivy.
Let me see that I.V.
Better give me all your Dodgers
Better give me all your gauze, nurse
As in the Los Angeles Dodgers
Better give me all your causes
Better give me all your gauze, nurse
Cocky for the very first time
or
Colicky for the very first time
Cuttin’ for the very first time
Cussing for the very first time
Cutting for the very first time
I'm not Dr. Seuss
A malpractice suit
Like a SunJet
Like a surgeon
Like a sturgeon
Like a surgeon
Like a subject
Like a surgeon
This page is fading fast
This patient's fading fast
This payment's fading fast
This patient's fading fast
Yeah my patients die before they get paid
Yeah my patients die before they can pay
The original lyrics make more sense than the misheard lyrics because the patients don't get paid; they're the ones doing the paying.
"Living With A Hernia" (MP3)
Doctor says there ain't nothin'
Two disk-uhs.
Doctor says there ain't nothin'
To discuss.
"Living With A Hernia" (MP3)
Living in suburbia
Living with a hernia
"Living with a Hernia" (MP3)
I live in suburbia
I live with a hernia
"Mission Statement"
Monetize our asses
Monetize our assets
"Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies"
One day he was shootin'
O. J. was shootin' at some food.
One day he was shootin'
Old Jed was shootin' at some food.
"Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies"
Emily, Emily Elizabeth
Beverly, Beverly Hillbillies
Emily Elizabeth is a character from Clifford the Big Red Dog.
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
But my girl can't get enough of his Southern demeanor
But my girl can't get enough of his sullen demeanor
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
He's her favourite soccer multi millionaire.
He's her very favorite slacker multi-millionaire.
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
He's her very favorite psycho multi- millionaire.
He's her very favorite slacker multi-millionaire.
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
He's her very favorite soccer multi-millionaire.
He's her very favorite slacker multi-millionaire.
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
I can't believe it, now she's knitting in my sweater.
I can't believe it, now she's knitting him a sweater.
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
I really think he's from planet X-y.
He's so darn disfunctional and generation X-y.
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
Like he's some big tortured genius
who has some kind of weiner
Like he's some big tortured genius
and I'm some kind of wiener
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
She likes his brutal angst and his wide-eyed stare
She likes his brooding angst and his wild-eyed stare
"My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder"
Well, I don't wear cotton and I don't wear flannel
Well, I don't wear Doc Martens and I don't wear flannel
Ask for Ryan
or
Ask for Brian
or
Ask for Bryan
Oscar Mayer
Ooh, I think the toaster's done
Ooh, I think the toast is done
Spread it on the mustard now, and show me how.
Spreadin' on the mustard now; and show me how.
"NOW That's What I Call Polka!"
I'm gonna pop some bags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
"NOW That’s What I Call Polka!"
I’m gonna pop some bags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
I’m gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
"Ode To A Superhero" (MP3)
It seems she prefers guys
Who can p*ss upside down in the rain.
It seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside down in the rain.
100,000 paper cups on my face
100,000 paper cuts on my face
And I have to use the seltzerless pumps.
And I have to use the self-service pumps.
"Party in the CIA"
Before the red alert came on the Brady Bunch
Before the red alert came on the radio
"Perform This Way"
Before we swim
Perform this way
Editor's note: Please do not type quotation marks in the artist or song-title fields.
"Perform This Way"
Save your allowance, buy a Bible Belt
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
"Polka Party"
I'm gonna eat my baby
I'm gonna keep my baby
"Polka Power"
I smell Sex Ed
Candy here.
I smell sex and
Candy here.
"Polka Power"
We're all stars now, in the Dojo.
We're all stars now, in the dope show.
"Polka Power"
Who's that gassing the upstairs in my direction?
or
Who's that cussing me upstairs in my direction?
Who's that casting devious stares in my direction?
A snippet from the song "Sex And Candy" by Marcy Playground.
"Polka Power"
Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream
Bigot!
Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream
Dig it!
Budai ein saiyan cheeser
But I ain't sayin' she's a...
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
And he never eats pastrami, always prays with mayonnaise
And he never eats pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
Aw, he involves himself for trumpet psychic plots.
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz.
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
Barking like a dog, at the Synagogue
Working like a dog, at the Synagogue
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
He never asks for sugar
And he's hardly a schlemiel.
He never acts meshugga
And he's hardly a schlemiel.
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
He'll always stop on down for a wedding or a bris
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a bris
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
He'll always stop on down
or
He'll always slap on down
or
He'll always step on down.
He'll always shlep on down.
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
He's doin' well, I gotta smell
Siennas love him, even shih-tzus think he's swell.
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell.
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
Just say 'Gay Ishmir!' and he'll kick into gear.
Just say 'Vay iz mir!' and he'll kick into gear.
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
People used that stuff, now they say mazel tov!
He's such a mocker 'cause he worked his sofas off.
People used to scoff, now they say mazel tov!
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off.
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
Show up at his home,
he sells you loam
Show up at his home,
he says 'Shalom'
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
The parents pay them royal
And he gets to keep the tip!
The parents pay the mohel
And he gets to keep the tip!
"Pretty Fly For A Rabbi"
They're on cell phone, dear Ablinza!
Veren zol fun dir a blintsa
"Pretty Fly for a Rabbi"
How ya doin', birdie?
How ya doin', Bernie?
And the laughter's always can't
And the laughter's always canned
And you burn a whore right through
And you burn a hole right through
I'm sick of Fred and apple always comin' over here
I'm sick of Fred and Ethel always comin' over here
I'm such a frikkin a--hole always coming over there.
I'm sick of Fred of Ethel always coming over here.
You're such a crazy deadhead
You're such a crazy redhead
Editor's note: PLEASE DO NOT TYPE QUOTATION MARKS IN SINGLE-LINE FIELDS. This creates a problem for us editors. If for whatever reason, an editor needs to edit an entry, " marks and any subsequent text will be cut off. For this reason, it is best to avoid typing such marks in the performer and song title fields.
You're such a crazy mailman
You're such a crazy redhead
You're such a crazy redneck
You're such a crazy redhead
"Slime Creatures From Outer Space"
Flying teachers from outer space
Slime creatures from outer space
"Slime Creatures From Outer Space"
Science teachers from outer space
Slime creatures from outer space
"Slime Creatures from Outer Space"
And grill you up real good
And blow you up real good
"Slime Creatures from Outer Space"
And pummel you up real good
And blow you up real good
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
All the Russians, from Seattle
A garage band from Seattle
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Boy, this autumn, bug your parents
Boy, this oughta bug your parents
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Boy, this oughta f*ck your parents.
Boy, this oughta bug your parents.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Buy our album from Madonna
Buy our album, we're Nirvana
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Buy our album, we're Havana
Buy our album, we're Nirvana
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Don't go, don't go, don't go, oh no!
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no!
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Donna, Donna, Donna, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Dumbo, Dumbo, Dumbo, oh no!
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no!
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Dumbo, Dumbo, Dumbo
Don't know, don't know, don't know
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
For this autumn, bug your parents.
Boy, this oughta bug your parents.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Go do something, bug your parents!
Boy this oughtta bug your parents!
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Here we are now, we're Nelvana
Here we are now, we're Nirvana
Nelvana is a Canadian animation company
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Hug a rague band from Seattle
A garage band from Seattle
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
I'm a rock band from Seattle.
A garage band from Seattle
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Put this on and bug your parents!
Boy this oughtta bug your parents!
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
See Stick Stickly
Sing distinctly?
Stick Stickly was the mascot for Nick in the Afternoon.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
See us stiffly
Sing distinctly?
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
See us stinkin'?
Sing distinctly?
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Seem to stay clean, we don't wanna!
Sing distinctly? We don't wanna!
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Singing songs that we don't wanna
Buy our album, we're Nirvana.
Sing distinctly? We don't wanna
Buy our album, we're Nirvana.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Stink of stinkweed, we don't wanna!
Buy our album, we're Nirvana!
Sing distictly, we don't wanna!
Buy our album, we're Nirvana!
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Tell your mama
Sayonara
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
This oughta poke your parrot.
This oughta bug your parents.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
We don't smell like Madonna
We don't sound like Madonna
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
We don't sound like Nirvana
We don't sound like Madonna
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
We're a grunge band from Seattle.
A garage band from Seattle.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
We're so loud and incoherent
Boy, this oughta f*** your parents.
We're so loud and incoherent
Boy, this oughta bug your parents.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
We're so loud that think they'll hear us?
We're so loud and incoherent.
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Well, it sure beats razing cattle
Well, it sure beats raising cattle
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
Well, we don't just like Madonna
Well, we don't sound like Madonna
"Smells Like Nirvana" (MP3)
What is this song all without?
What is this song all about?
Wonder if it's Mr. Meaty
Wonder if it's mystery meat
"Spy Hard"
A man of intrigue, he lives for the drill.
A man of intrigue, he lives for the thrill.
"Stop Draggin' My Car Around" (MP3)
Took my baby to the old Nabisco
Took my baby to the local disco
"Stop Dragging My Car Around" (MP3)
He said 'I really like your snaggle hook necklace.'
He said, 'I really like your snaggle tooth necklace.'
"Stop Dragging My Car Around" (MP3)
He said, 'I really like your Snagglepuss necklace.'
He said, 'I really like your snaggle tooth necklace.'
"Stop Dragging My Car Around" (MP3)
Like, wow, I'm sorry Buffy towed it away
Like, wow, I'm sorry but we towed it away
"Stop Dragging My Car Around" (MP3)
Stop driving my car around
Stop dragging my car around
"Stop Dragging My Car Around" (MP3)
Your pants are groovy and your hair is all gay.
Your pants are groovy and your hair's okay.
"Such a Groovy Guy" (MP3)
And then attach those egg rolls to your brain and watch you dance
And then attach electrodes to your brain and watch you dance
Getting electrodes attached to your brain sounds scarier than getting egg rolls attached to your brain, but of course the misheard lyrics are literally impossible. :-(
"Syndicated Inc."
Bashin' 'All in the Family'
'M*A*S*H' and 'All in the Family'
"Syndicated Inc."
Benson it'll be.
Then soon it'll be.
"Benson" was a sitcom from the 80s that has been in syndication.
"Syndicated Inc."
I know just Watusi.
I know just what to see.
The way this line is written, the preposition "to" sounds emphasized.
"Syndicated Inc."
See the reruns constantly.
They're on my TV.
See the reruns constantly
there on my TV.
"Syndicated Inc."
We land 'Jeopardy!'
'Wheel' and 'Jeopardy!'
Wheel as in "Wheel Of Fortune." That show and "Jeopardy!" were both created by Merv Griffin, and they usually air back-to-back in some order.
"Syndicated, Inc."
Watchin' 'All in the Family'
'M*A*S*H' and 'All in the Family'
"TMZ"
That's the story that they're gonna feed ya
That's the story that they're gonna feature
"Tacky"
All my used liquid bibles are on display ...
I would like a Twitter feud, will take selfies with the deceased
All my used liquor bottles are on display ...
I would live-tweet a funeral or take selfies with the deceased
"Tacky"
I Instacart every meal I had
I Instagram every meal I had
Have a toast, dada
Have a tostada
"The Brady Bunch"
And you can use TV Guide
To help you decide with a cathelizer view.
And you can use TV Guide
To help you decide with a capsulized review.
"The Night Santa Went Crazy"
And he slashed up Basher just like Fred and Flugal
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Kruger
"The Night Santa Went Crazy"
He decided to vomit
He decided to bomb it
"The Night Santa Went Crazy"
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to vomit.
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it.
"The Saga Begins"
But he can use the forest, they say.
But he can use the force, they say.
"The Saga Begins"
Bye bye, this Iranikan guy.
My, my, this here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
Bye, bye monsieur Anakin guy,
maybe Vader someday later,
now he's just a small fry
My, my this here Anakin guy,
maybe Vader someday later,
now he's just a small fry
"The Saga Begins"
Bye, bye, Miss Uranian Pie.
My, my, this here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
Bye, bye, Mister Anakin Guy.
My, my, this here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
Bye, bye, Monsieur Anakin guy.
My, my, this here Anakin guy
"The Saga Begins"
Bye, bye, Mr. Anakin guy.
My, my, this here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
Could talk the feather racin' in.
Could talk the Federation in.
"The Saga Begins"
How his Billy Corgans were off the scale.
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale.
"The Saga Begins"
How his mini DeLorean was off the scale.
or
How his mini accordion was off the scale.
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale.
"The Saga Begins"
In the end, some gundams died.
In the end, some Gunguns died.
"The Saga Begins"
My, my, this 'Heredican' guy.
My, my, this here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
My, my, this Uranican guy
My, my, this here Annakin guy
"The Saga Begins"
My, my, this Uranium guy.
My, my, this here Annakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
My, oh my, Mr. Annakin guy
My, oh my, this here Annakin guy
"The Saga Begins"
Oh, my my this Heiranikan guy
or
Oh, my, my, this Heiraniggan guy
or
Oh, my, my, this here and again guy
Oh, my my this here Anakin guy
"The Saga Begins"
Oh, my, my, this American Guy.
Oh, my, my, this here Anakin guy.
It's a parody of "American Pie", hence the possible mis-hearing.
"The Saga Begins"
Oh, my, my, this Iraniken guy.
Oh, my, my, this here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
Oh, my, my
This here American sky.
Oh, my, my
This here Anakin guy.
"The Saga Begins"
Saying soon I'm gonna be a good guy
Saying soon I'm gonna be a Jedi
"The Saga Begins"
Saying soon I'm gonna be a jet eye.
Saying soon I'm gonna be a Jedi.
"The Saga Begins"
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his Medjugorjeans were off the scale.
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale.
"The Saga Begins"
Soon I'm gonna be a dead-eye.
Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi.
"The Saga Begins"
We all wound up on tattooing.
We all wound up on Tatooine.
"The Saga Begins"
We escaped from that gas
And met Jar Jar in Boznas
We escaped from that gas
And met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
"The Saga Begins"
We escaped from that guess
We escaped from that gas
"The Saga Begins"
We took a bundle from the scene.
We took a bongo from the scene.
"The Saga Begins"
We took a bunghole from the scene
We took a bongo from the scene
"The Saga Begins"
Well I knew who would win for space
Well I knew who would win first place
"The Weird Al Show Theme"
And he lived in a sewer with his monster pal.
or
And he lived in a sewer with his lobster pal.
And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal.
"The Weird Al Show Theme"
He was caught in a bear track and Al set him free
He was caught in a bear trap and Al set him free
This is a correction to an erroneous post.
"The Weird Al Show Theme"
He was caught in a bear trap
He was caught in a bear track
"The Weird Al Show Theme"
He was caught in a death threat
He was caught in a bear trap
"The Weird Al Show Theme"
There were cops in a death trap
He was caught in a bear track
"The Weird Al Show Theme"
Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist
With a special attitude on her arm (on her arm).
or
Well, the very next year, he met a dental hygienist
With a special tattoo on her arm (on her arm).
Well, the very next year, he met a dental hygienist
With a spatula tattooed on her arm (on her arm).
What is so little?
What's in the middle?
"Theme From Rocky XIII" (MP3)
Goes in the back and beats off on the liverwurst.
Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst.
"This Is the Life"
I guess I'll have to ram it
I guess I'll have to rent it
S*** can kill, now, s*** can kill
Shoot to kill, now, shoot to kill
She can kill, now, she can kill
Shoot to kill, now, shoot to kill
Makes sense, if Al is referring to the gun.
"UHF"
Dont worry about your laundry, forget about your child
Dont worry about your laundry, forget about your job
"UHF"
Grow up until we die
Throw out your TV Guide
"UHF"
If you know what I need now
If you know what I mean now
"UHF"
Put down your remote control
Throw out your TV and die!
Put down your remote control
Throw out your TV Guide!
"UHF"
We control the whole McDonald's
We control the Burger King, too.
We control the horizontal
We control the vertical, too.
"UHF"
We control the whole Pizarro.
We control the horizontal.
"UHF"
We control the whole Risotto.
We control the horizontal.
"UHF"
We control the whole rizzano.
We control the horizontal.
"Ugly Girl"
Said I have it, I should faggot.
Said I have it, I should bag it.
This was not on any of his albums; it was performed only in concerts.
My Melvin Elvis
or
My melba Elvis
or
My hellin' Elvis
or
My hell in Elvis
My velvet Elvis
"Virus Alert"
Get your laundry static-clean
Give your laundry static cling
"Virus Alert"
Hit sand right now
Hit Send right now
"Whatever You Like"
Hey girl, you know, our e-commenting is in the toilet
Hey girl, you know, our economy is in the toilet
Wonder if this has anything to do with the economic recession in the late 2000s.
"When I Was Your Age" (MP3)
It was seventy-three above, sleepin' in a cardboard box
There were 73 of us livin' in a cardboard box
"When I Was Your Age" (MP3)
When it was seventy-three above, sleepin' in a cardboard box
Well, there were seventy-three of us, sleepin' in a cardboard box
"White & Nerdy"
They see me roll on my Soul Train
They see me roll on my Segway
"White And Nerdy"
...or do I like Bacall?
...or do I like Picard?
As in Lauren Bacall.
"White And Nerdy"
Emma Liz at Minesweeper
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper
"White And Nerdy"
Even got a homepage for my doll
Even got a homepage for my dog.
"White And Nerdy"
Even got dirt on my underwear
Got my name written on my underwear
"White And Nerdy"
Got my name on my armor wear
Got my name on my underwear
"White And Nerdy"
Half passed out, well I'm number one
Do f***in' calculus just for fun.
At Pascal, well I'm number one
Do vector calculus just for fun.
"White And Nerdy"
I memorize Holy Grail really well
I can despite it right now
I memorize Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now
Referring to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
"White And Nerdy"
I wanna ball with the gangsters
I wanna bowl with the gangsters
"White And Nerdy"
I was in a B club and G club
I was in A/V club and glee club
"White And Nerdy"
I've been browsin' and spectin'
X-Men comic geno, I collect 'em.
I've been browsin', inspectin'
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em.
"White And Nerdy"
I've had it with Wikipedia.
I edit Wikipedia.
"White And Nerdy"
My Myspace pip-pop-poodly pink-out.
My 'Myspace' page is all totally pimped out.
"White And Nerdy"
My, er, Konami keyboard never leaves me bored.
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored.
"White And Nerdy"
They see me roll on my Subway
They see me roll on my Segway
"White And Nerdy"
They see me rollin' a foot long
They see me mowin' my front lawn
"White And Nerdy"
Was "Do I like her or do I like Bacall?"
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
"White And Nerdy"
Was "Do I like her or do I like a card?"
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
"White and Nerdy"
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like her, or do I like the card?
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
"Word Crimes"
Maybe you f***ed that class
Maybe you flunked that class
"Word Crimes"
We'll cry
Word crimes
"Yoda"
But I know that I'll be coming back someday
I been playing this part since I's only three.
But I know that I'll be coming back someday
I'll be playing this part till I'm old and gray.
"Yoda"
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember if you kill him, you'll be an android.
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember if you kill him, you'll be unemployed.
"Yoda"
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember if you kill him, you'll be an employee of Yoda
I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed
But remember if you kill him, you'll be unemployed, oh my Yoda.
"Yoda"
I lived in some moss while I stood on my head
I lifted some rocks, well I stood on my head.
"Yoda"
I lived in some rocks, while I stood on my bed.
or
I lived in a box, while I stood on my shed.
I lifted some rocks, well I stood on my head.
"Yoda"
I met him in a swamp down at Dago Byway
It bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda.
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda.
"Yoda"
I met him in a swamp down in Day-Glo Bar
I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
"Yoda"
I saw the little rump
I saw the little runt
"Yoda"
So I used the force
I picked up a bus
So I used the force
I picked up a box
"Yoda"
The number of contract I had assigned
Said I will be making these movies 'til the of time
With my Yoda.
The long term contract that I had to sign
Said I'll be making these movies 'til the end of time
With my Yoda.
"Yoda"
The old dern contract that I had to sign
Said I'll be making these movies 'til the end of time.
The long term contract that I had to sign
Said I'll be making these movies 'til the end of time.
"You Don't Love Me Anymore" (MP3)
When you pushed me down the elevator, Shaq
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft
And use the right amount of bleach
And use a recommended bleach
"You're Pitiful"
I'm a plumber, me and you
What a bummer being you
"You're Pitiful"
La-la-la-la gluten
La-la-la-la loser
"You're Pitiful"
What a bomber being you
What a bummer being you
"You're Pitiful"
What a plumber being you
What a bummer being you
"Your Horoscope For Today"
Badger horse go for today.
That's your horoscope for today.
"Your Horoscope For Today"
Let your horse go for the day, yayayayay.
That's your horoscope for the day, yayayay.
"Your Horoscope For Today"
Let your horse go for the day.
That's your horoscope for today.
"eBay"
Pink bathroom
Pink bathrobe