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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Dire Straits
Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.
This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.
Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).
Alchemy: Dire Straits Live album at Amazon.com
Dire Straits', "Heavy Fuel"
The Misheard Lyrics:
If you wanna run cool
You got to have
A very early funeral.
You got to have
A very early funeral.
The Real Lyrics:
If you wanna run cool
You got to run
On heavy, heavy fuel.
You got to run
On heavy, heavy fuel.
The Story: The song's lyrics are about smoking, drinking, and overeating. So it was natural for me to think that the song suggested that dying early (and thus, having a 'very early funeral') was cool. - Submitted by: J.c.j.p.n
Dire Straits', "Industrial Disease"
The Misheard Lyrics:
They wanna have a war to stop the spying Japanese
The Real Lyrics:
They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
The Story: One of my friends is constantly singing this song so I decided to look it up on the internet. I found the lyrics and I thought "hmm..." I haven't told him yet, but my friend is definitely confused! - Submitted by: Mr. Sally
Dire Straits', "Money For Nothin'"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Money for nothin' and your chips for free.
The Real Lyrics:
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free.
The Story: My sister and I caused my parents years of fun in the car by singing the wrong thing. The sadistic people never corrected us. :D - Submitted by: Clare Dennison
Dire Straits', "Money For Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Cheques for free
The Real Lyrics:
Chicks for free
The Story: In my 6 year-old innocence, I asked my mom what the big deal was about getting cheques for free. Exasperated, she explained that the correct lyric was 'chicks'. Puzzled, I asked her if 'chicks' weren't always free. - Submitted by: Andrea
Dire Straits', "Money For Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Get your money for nothing,
and potato chips for free
and potato chips for free
The Real Lyrics:
Get your money for nothing,
and the chicks for free
and the chicks for free
The Story: When this song came out, I was about 3 or 4, and I loved it so much I would sing along. My mom decided it would be cute (and more appropriate) to teach me 'potato chips for free' instead of 'chicks for free' and I didn't actually find out what the real lyrics were until I was 10. Thanks mom ;P - Submitted by: Justine
Dire Straits', "Money For Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I always thought they said pistol on your little finger maybe get a pistol on your thumb
The Real Lyrics:
Maybe get a blister on your little finger Maybe get a blister on your thumb
The Story: I couldn't understand I was trying to figure out why they had a tattoo of a pistol on their ginger and thumb haha - Submitted by: Donna clare
Dire Straits', "Money for Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Custom Bitchn' dish and liver fleas
The Real Lyrics:
Custom kitchen deliveries
The Story: I just heard it out of the blue. It was scary. - Submitted by: Mark Knopfler
Dire Straits', "Money for Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Money for nothing and chips for free.
The Real Lyrics:
Money for nothing and chicks for free
The Story: I was about 8 years old - hadn't heard of "chicks" - Submitted by: supergrover
Dire Straits', "Money for Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Put the kids in microwaves ovens
The Real Lyrics:
We got to install microwave ovens.
The Story: Courtesy of my brother, who listened to this in his room because of me and looked rather startled after that line, before telling me 'We put the kids in the microwave oven????' (to be fair, he's half deaf) - Submitted by: Hannah H
Dire Straits', "Money for Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
We got some disco microwave ovens,
Custom kitchens, delivery;
We got some movies, refrigerators,
We got some movies, color TVs
Custom kitchens, delivery;
We got some movies, refrigerators,
We got some movies, color TVs
The Real Lyrics:
We got to install microwave ovens,
Custom kitchens, delivery;
We got to move these refrigerators,
We got to move these color TVs.
Custom kitchens, delivery;
We got to move these refrigerators,
We got to move these color TVs.
The Story: I never understood the “disco” microwave ovens, but figured it was being used like groovy or cool. Singing “movies” made complete sense to me, because the appliance stores had large bins of movies on VHS and Betamax in 1985. I heard something about a lyrics controversy in 2017 and I finally looked up the lyrics to the song. I was totally surprised to see the words were “we got to INSTALL microwave ovens…” Disco microwave ovens are more fun though, so my husband and I sing it that way. - Submitted by: Susanna
Dire Straits', "Money for Nothing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair
The Real Lyrics:
Yeah buddy, that's his only care
The Story: Everyone seems to think they're talking about his hair but the lyric is referring to being a "faggot" as his only care because he is rich and has a jet, etc. So probably doesn't mind much. It's another case of people not understanding Mark's accent. Like when they misheard "sang the streets a serenade" as, "...street suss...". Bizarre. - Submitted by: Aiden
Dire Straits', "One World"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Can't find no sleeves for my records
Can't get no lasers for my shoes
Can't get no lasers for my shoes
The Real Lyrics:
Can't find no sleeves for my records
Can't get no laces for my shoes
Can't get no laces for my shoes
The Story: I blame too much bad SF while growing up. - Submitted by: Litpho
Dire Straits', "Private Investigations"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's a misery to me
The Real Lyrics:
It's a mystery to me
The Story: Once again, why we confuse "mystery" with "misery", and vice versa. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Dire Straits', "Romeo and Juliet"
The Misheard Lyrics:
All I did was kiss you through the balls of a rhino
The Real Lyrics:
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme.
The Story: It was actually my friend Anthony who misheard this. A bunch of us were on a long night drive from Vancouver to Whistler and he was dozing in the back seat while this song played on the cassette player. All of a sudden, we hear Anthony's voice through the darkness. "Did he just say..." - Submitted by: Tom
Dire Straits', "Sultans Of Swing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
We're the Sultans, we are the Sultans of Twist.
The Real Lyrics:
We're the sultans, we are the Sultans of Swing.
The Story: My father has no idea of song lyrics and always would sing this, we told him what the lyrics were, and he still sung it his way anyway... - Submitted by: Karina
Dire Straits', "Sultans of Swing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And they crowd a young bar and stand, foolin' around in the corner.
Chuckin' chestnuts and sperm baggies in their platform soles
Chuckin' chestnuts and sperm baggies in their platform soles
The Real Lyrics:
And a crowd of young boys, they're fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles.
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles.
The Story: I always wondered what "chestnuts" meant in the lyric, thinking it might have been some 1970's disco-like drug reference. Also, I figured "sperm baggies" was a condom reference.
I just read the real lyrics a few minutes ago, and they make even less sense! Best brown baggies? Must be an English phrase... - Submitted by: Mike
I just read the real lyrics a few minutes ago, and they make even less sense! Best brown baggies? Must be an English phrase... - Submitted by: Mike
Dire Straits', "Sultans of Swing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Jump and press the big sperm bag he's in his papaw's soul.
The Real Lyrics:
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles.
The Story: I always thought he said "sperm bag"... couldn't figure it out. - Submitted by: Tim Reed
Dire Straits', "Sultans of Swing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
They say an old guitar is all he can afford
The Real Lyrics:
Left-handed old guitar is all he can afford
The Story: If this is correct, I hear it wrong every time. I'm still pretty sure the "original lyrics" here are wrong - Submitted by: Luke
Dire Straits', "Sultans of Swing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You check out guitar charge
He knows all the cards
He knows all the cards
The Real Lyrics:
You check out Guitar George
He knows all the chords
He knows all the chords
The Story: As in greeting cards...when you look for a Hallmark on the back. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Dire Straits', "The Man's Too Strong"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And masturbating makes you strong.
The Real Lyrics:
The man's too big, the man's too strong.
The Story: I first heard this song from someone's home-made cassette tape. Sound quality left something to be desired, the person didn't copy any song titles or lyrics, and Mark Knofpler is notorious for mumbling anyway. Funny how the first thing you think you're hearing can stick in your mind and turn you deaf to what is really sung. Although I realized I'd probably heard it wrong, it took a while before I got to read the actual lyrics. - Submitted by: Leon
Dire Straits', "Tunnel of Love"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Girl it looked so pretty to me, just like it always did, just like the Spanish City Turin".
The Real Lyrics:
And girl it looks so pretty to me just like it always did
Like the Spanish city to me .
Like the Spanish city to me .
The Story: Always though how thick Mark Knopfler must have been to think Turin was in Spain instead of Italy. - Submitted by: Keiron Phillips
Dire Straits', "Tunnel of Love"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I put my hand up on her femur
The Real Lyrics:
I put my hand upon the Lever
The Story: I was working out and my partner broke out the questioning the lyric. I guess she has NEVER heard of Dire Straits!!! I was trying to hold in my laughter... - Submitted by: Jessica Nelson
Dire Straits', "Twistin By The Pool"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Twistin' Podoboo
The Real Lyrics:
Twistin' by the pool
The Story: A Podoboo is a fire creature that jumps out of lava pits in Nintendo's Super Mario Brothers. I first heard this song when I was very young and at that time I was very big into Nintendo games. - Submitted by: Alex Lawrence
Dire Straits', "Walk of Life"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Do the rocket man
The Real Lyrics:
Do the walk of life
The Story: It sounded like they were referencing Elton John! - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Dire Straits', "Walk of Life"
The Misheard Lyrics:
He do the song about the Six Million Dollar Woman
The Real Lyrics:
He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman
The Story: Who would think about a feminine version of the Six Million Dollar Man? - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Dire Straits', "Walk of Life"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Here comes Johnny saying "Go Leafs, Go!"
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in Toronto, trying to make a play
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in Toronto, trying to make a play
The Real Lyrics:
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
The Story: The Toronto Maple Leafs are a hockey team, and I thought this verse was about a fan from Toronto. - Submitted by: Eric
Dire Straits', "Walk of Life"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Here comes Johnny saying 'Go Leafs Go'
You gotta hear it baby what I say
Here comes Johnny saying I got a woman
Down in the corners trying to make a play
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh yeah, the boy can play
You gotta hear it baby what I say
Here comes Johnny saying I got a woman
Down in the corners trying to make a play
He got the action, he got the motion
Oh yeah, the boy can play
The Real Lyrics:
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
The Story: I'm from Toronto, and a huge fan of the Leafs, especially the real heart and soul guys like Dougie and Wendel, and chances are I leapt to this odd little conclusion somewhere around playoff time. Seriously though, the song starts out with organ music, and where are you going to hear an organ anymore other than at a hockey game? Who talks about dedication and devotion more than coaches or hockey commentators? I just figured it was about some old time Leaf legend, some true blue and white hero of decades past. I figured 'the walk on by' must be this Johnny guy's patented bit of stick-handling. Not even sure I like the song now that I know the true lyrics. Well, at least I have the Rheostatics 'Ballad of Wendel Clark' to keep me happy. - Submitted by: Ed C
Dire Straits', "Your Latest Trick"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I dont know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your lips drip.
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your lips drip.
The Real Lyrics:
I dont know how it happened
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick.
It all took place so quick
But all I can do is hand it to you
And your latest trick.
The Story: I had a recording of this song when I was a student and did not know it's title. That is, until some years later when my wife burst out laughing when I asked her if she knew the lips drip song. - Submitted by: Glen Warburton
There are more Dire Straits misheard lyrics available.
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