Song Parodies -> "Boozer"

Original Song Title:

"Loser"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Boozer"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

One evening, a cop who has been stressed to the point of losing his sanity begins chasing down a particularly dangerous felon whose escaped in a stolen car. That felon has been drinking quite a bit; making the felon's driving particularly erratic. Unable to call for backup, the desperate cop begins to consider vigilante-style execution a valid means of dealing with the problem. As his personal hatred for the drunk and fleeing felon reaches a boiling point, the cop's resolve to do the unthinkable escalates his descent into madness. The story is from the exasperated cop's point of view, exposing the twisted logic he uses to justify his premeditated actions while he curses his victim. It ends with the cop reduced to both a murderer and a raving lunatic.

1. Driving the wrong way;
The road's not your private space!

I'm losing patience now!
I'll break your legs and smash your face!

No time to unwind!
You nearly hit a school bus!

And this will end today!

And will end my way...

(Chorus)

I'm getting CLOSER!
To sideswiping you off this highway's edge!
Cause you're a boozer!
If I don't stop you someone else could be dead!
I'm getting CLOSER!
You're going in the ditch and your taking the fall!
Cause you're a boozer....you're a boozer...yeah!

2. Trying to run? How bold!
I can smell the beer from here so...

A sequence must unfold!
Not much left of your car to behold!

Subtraction of a wasted life here;
Other drivers may proceed without fear!

And this will end today!
It'll end my way!

(Second Chorus)

I'm getting CLOSER!
To sideswiping you off this highway's edge!
Cause you're a boozer!
If I don't stop you someone else could be dead!
I'm getting CLOSER!
You're going in the ditch and your taking the fall!
Cause you're a boozer....YOU'RE A BOOZER!!!

(Instrumental break, with a police siren and some hellish screaming; ending in the sound of a car crashing and exploding)

(Third Chorus)

You drove me CLOSER!
To sideswiping you off this highway's edge!
Cause you're a boozer!
I stopped you and now nobody else is dead!
You drove me CLOSER!
You went in the ditch and then you took the fall!
Cause you're a boozer....yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

(Fourth Chorus)

You drove me CLOSER!
To sideswiping you off this highway's edge!
You were a boozer!
I stopped you and now nobody else is dead!
You drove me CLOSER!
You went in the ditch and then you took the fall!
You were a boozer....yeah!

(Evil, maniacal cackling)

More information about this Every Ape and His Brother song, track 2 on the lyrical album "Poss Window," may be found here: http://dozerfleet.wikia.com/wiki/Boozer_(song)

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