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Song Parodies -> "Balls Have Dropped"

Original Song Title:

"Candy Shop"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

50 Cent

Parody Song Title:

"Balls Have Dropped"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

Sung in a Barry-White-esque tone, except the bits in capital letters which are sung like that whiny teenager from The Simpsons.
Yeah... thunders.
Low in octave.

Voice breaking to a manly talk.
I'm used to squeaking with a squawk.
Like dragging a piece of chalk.
But now I'm growling like an orc.
Low!

My speaking pitch was often mocked.
Penetrated all earmuffs.
But now I'm resonant and gruff.
Speak low because my balls have dropped.
Low!

I TINTINNABULATE, I AINT sonorous.
I go CRACKL-ING off the chords and SNUFF the chorus.
Timbre is RISING. Oh dang, I'm BLOWING out in treble.
Answer has CRACKED. Gruffness is DISSHEVELLED.
I'll break my TONE for you NOW, speak like a SHRIMPO.
Acute as a CHIPMUNK, cuz I am a WIMPO.
Wish I spoke well without CRACKING my vocals.
Would foul SPEECH make me HOARSE? Maybe HAVING a smoke will.

It's a TRAGEDY, whiny-voiced shocker.
All my friends TEASING ME 'bout how HUNG their balls are.
Want 'em low so I'll be HUSKY, face will grow STUBBLY.
Then I'll talk and be PRONOUNCING SOUNDS that are not STRIDENT.
I'll be speaking SLICK, not like some little BITCH.
Darker and SURLY in PITCH, resonating and RICH.
My whines REVERBERATE WAVES that can smash PANES of glass.
My balls HEADING south? Still TALK like a LASS! (Dammit!)

Voice breaking to a manly talk.
I'm used to squeaking with a squawk.
Like dragging a piece of chalk.
But now I'm growling like an orc.
Low!

My speaking pitch was often mocked.
Penetrated all earmuffs.
But now I'm resonant and gruff.
Speak low because my balls have dropped.
Low!

Well, what's this, yo? (What's this, yo?)
I'm baritone? (I'm baritone?)
I'm speaking low? (Speaking low?)
Well whoop-de-freakin'-de-doo! (Oh yeah!)

Loving this new bassy voice that booms,
I can talk like I'm from beyond the tomb!
You aint ever heard a sound so rich or hoarse.
Cuz my balls never dropped on down so quick.
Was a soprano before, another shrill little nipper.
My voice is bass, I can now request liquor.
Vivider harmonics, now my sonics are slick, my crotch now has balls.
Now my singing sounds more brass and gutteral.

I was a high tot with a high whine.
Piping a high talk, a high kid. Was high time.
Lowered octaves, now high frequency declines.
My lips make low vocals, I roar like a giant.
A stronger speech discussion. Oh yeah, I aint subtle.
Slipped my frets to get chords all low and gutt'ral.
Got two descended nads, mutter and utter with TONE!
Oh CRAP, my SLICK and new BRAVADO-filled RUMBLE is BLOWN!

Voice breaking to a manly TALK.
I'm used to squeaking with a SQUAWK.
Like dragging a piece of CHALK.
But now I'm growling like an ORC.
LOW?

My speaking pitch was often MOCKED.
Penetrated all EARMUFFS.
But now I'm resonant and GRUFF.
Speak low because my balls have DROPPED.
LOW?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

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Rick C - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, BRO! 555
Charlie Decker - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't worry, Luke...you'll hit puberty sooner or later. Some people are late bloomers, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, you still write parodies like a man. 5s
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Rick and Charlie! Dogs are howling from your replies...
daniel - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
funny funny shit!! 555!!!

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