I said I was a lesbian
But I was a guy
Not a rooster, but a hen
But I was a guy
Now I am all embarrassed, and I know why
Because I'm a guy
Because I'm a guy
Because I'm a guy

I said I was from Syria
But that was a lie
And that I'd seen hysteria
But that was a lie
I really was in Scotland, and I know why
'Cause it was a lie
'Cause it was a lie
'Cause it was a lie

I tried to flirt with "Lez Get Real"
but "she" was a guy
I tried to tell her how I feel
but "she was a guy
Now we've both been outed, and we know why
Because we are guys
Because we are guys
Because we are guys

I said Assad had kidnapped me
but that was a lie
And they wanted to get me set free
But they couldn't try
'Cause the Syria thing was just an alibi
Yes, it was a lie
Oh, it was a lie
Oh, it was a lie

Everyone fell for my trick
Though I am a guy
They never knew I had a d*ck
Or that I'm a guy
But now I'm caught with pants down, and this is why:
Because I'm a guy
Because I'm a guy
Because I'm a guy

What a wise man says:
If you're a guy
You shouldn't claim to be a lez
If you're a guy
Or else they will unmask you, oh my oh my
Because you're a guy
Because you're a guy
Because you're a guy