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Song Parodies -> "Can't Stand On My Own Two"

Original Song Title:

"Paid My Dues"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Anastacia

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Stand On My Own Two"

Parody Written by:

#137431715

The Lyrics

Would be Anastacia this self-sure if she were drunk?
Spoken:
You can say...you can...oh my gosh...but TAKE YOUR D*MN HANDS OFF ME! I can...I can stand on my own two...!

I feel knocked down,
Like a crazy clown,
Even got a punch in my face by the door,
But not even Armageddon can keep me from drinking
one more "Malibu"
Oh, I'm too drunk, it takes long
To stand up, and I cannot move on,
Even if I wanna run, I'm just crawling away.

So I...
Raise my hand high,
Try to reach my
glass, I missed it,
oh, p*ss it....
That's just the way it goes!

I'm done, I am blue,
can't stand on my on two,
and lost my shoes.
They tried to hold me down, but
But I was crawling out,
And lost my shoes.

Spoken:
You say, straight back on....okay, ooops!....HEY DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!...but...where's my shoes???

Now I still trust, that in the case
I can reach that trafficless place
I get home with no mo'
wounds and 2 eyes of mine
And I thought I better go to the loo,

If there's someone, I push her down,
I don't give a damn about who's sittin' on
I was not sick 'til now.....BOOW:.....

So I...
Raise my head high,
But grab my hair tight,
I'm swingin',
and stinkin'
That's just the way I throw (up)

I'm done, I am blue,
can't stand on my on two,
and lost my shoes.
They tried to hold me down, but
But I was crawling out,
And lost my shoes.
yeah, yeah...nooo....

Doesn't take so long to get me here,
But after seven beers,
You try to squeeze my butt right, (Hands off, old monkey!)
But first, I' giving you a punch,
Oh, no, there comes my lunch,
I see double, and speak bubbles, ooooh....

Now I hold my head down,
I let it go around
Oahh...I made it, but
I hate it,
Hey, don't watch me when I throw (up)!

I'm done, I am blue,
can't stand on my on two,
and lost my shoes.
They tried to hold me down, but
But I was crawling out,
And lost my shoes.
yeah, yeah, yeah..........

Hands off!




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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
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 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   2
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 4   2
 2
 4
 
 5   3
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 3
 

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