He's new in town
Dressed in a suit
Two surnames and glasses like Giles to boot
He's got a job
Slayers to watch
So easy to botch

Evil's afoot
Vamps running round
And a fat demon somewhere in town
Now Wesley and Giles
Taken by force
Wes will surrender quite quickly, of course

You're the new Watcherboy
Now Balthazar's gotcha, boy
How will you get out of this mess?
Will you be brave and fight?
Kill demons with all your might?
Or rescued by some girl in a dress?

Three years from now
He's in L.A.
Killing is how he spends every day
He sits at the desk
Calls all the shots
There's a girl for whom he's got the hots

He steals Angel's son
And runs for his life
But somebody slashes him with a knife
He's in a bed
Angel's insane
Picks up a pillow, here comes the pain

Hey, look out, Watcherboy
A crazed vampire's gotcha, boy
You made a really big mistake
Now Angel's really mad
'Cause you just did something bad
You're lucky that you heard nothing break

Be careful, Watcherboy
'Cause Angel has gotcha, boy
And he won't let you up for air
You're in a painful place
A pillow right on your face
I'm sure this is giving you a scare

Sorry, Wes, I know it's sad
You made your friends really mad
Now they don't want you around
So you might as well leave town

Too bad that your only friend
Only comes around to spend
Time with you inside your bed
What's going on inside your head?

Wesley's a boy
Lilah's a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
They don't share love
She prefers hate
But at least the sex is great

Look at you, Watcherboy
Now Lilah has gotcha, boy
I'm still not sure what's wrong with you
You sit round at home each day
Wasting your life away
I didn't expect this, it's true

Look at you, Watcherboy
Big evil has gotcha, boy
What you've been thinking, I can't tell
You wanted to save the day
But that plan went astray
Promise you'll drop a line from hell