I'm standing in the pub
I'm waiting for my pint
I thought that you'd have paid by now
The barman comes along
And tells us to get out
Coz we've spent 40 pound

Why is everyone trying to help me?
I can walk just fine on my own

We've had 18 pints
We're trying to lash out fist fights
Won't you
Pull another pint for me and him too
He don't know where we are
But I, I'm p!$$ed too
Had a few

I'm looking at your face
Why you talk so loud?
Is anybody there? hello?
'Coz I don't feel too right
My mother says it's wrong
And that's where all my money's blown

Why's everybody staring at me?
I need to go powder my nose

I'm no transvestite
Why am I wearing women's tights?
Won't you
Tell me where I am, hey don't I know you?
Take a ride in your car
'Cause I
I'm p!$$ed too
You sniff glue?

Why is everything a-spinning?
Maybe i've just drank my last pint
Yeurgh-urgh,
Yeurgh-urgh,
Yeurgh-urgh,
Yeurgh-urgh,
Yeeuuurgh!

It's a ten to five
I've woken up beside this guy
No I
Don't know where I am
'Cause it's somewhere new
I don't know who he is but he
Got drunk too-e-hoo-e-hoo
Had a few-e-hoo-e-hoo
Snook me into bed and then woke up nude
I don't know who I am
'Cause I
Drank a few-e-hoo-e-hoo
I've no clue-e-hoo-e-hoo
Don't know what I drank but i'm black and blue
Could you please tell me now just what
Did I do
Why'm I nude?
Need to spew...