This is a scam, afraid it's so, you know
I'm not gonna buy this, you just go 'head and stick it where the sun don't go
Since you should fear that the courtroom will jeer and the book will be thrown
So why don't you get up and walk away from this, bud? Just spare the both of us
Well, look, I have dealt with this tripe, it's old-hat
You can stop, I know how it's gonna play, ee-yeah-eah, oh-oh

Did you think that I was gonna fall for that, my dude? Yeah, right
Did you think that I was desp'rate to avoid a suit and fines?
Don't "nasty spill" me, not the truth, don't "nasty spill" me 'cause it's plain
You're not in any pain, ee-yeah-eah

Can see that your arms haven't come to much harm and neither have your legs
And where is the wet patch that you claim knocked your ass right on the floor? Nothing's wet
Are you real sure that you're not just an absolute clot and fell over yourself (over yourself)?
A bump on your head ain't our fault, so get your ass home and rest
Happy I can tell you what I think, so glad
Since my bosses are sick of ev'ry claim

Did you think that anyone would fall for that, my dude? Yeah, right
Did you think we'd think that you had more than a boo-boo? Goodbye
Don't "nasty spill" me, far from true, don't "nasty spill" me, pretty plain
No part of you has pain, ee-yeah-eah

This guilt trip as part of your con is the worst story ever sobbed
Think it's better to just leave before I break

Did you think since I work retail, I don't have a clue? Not right
Did you think that this was easy money? Better move outside
Don't "nasty spill" me like a douche, don't "nasty spill" me, such a pain
Your acting's garbage, mate, ee-yeah-eah (pretty bad, must say)
I'm so tempted to show you real pain