My bed crawls with bugs, feel me sufferin'.
(I scratch away at my head!)
I'm covered in leeches, the varmints!
(They're masticating my legs,
Stay latched-on day and night, yeah!)
I rub on some cream, it burns my skin.
(Oh, blast this lame phthriasis,
My nads have dang psoriasis!)
These critters cling on, now I'm itchy.
(My blisters ache from bite marks!)

Gross weeeeeeeeals!
Scabies? Jeez!
Oh boy, it smarrrrrrrrts!
Scratch my damn fleas!

I caught this mange off of Rover.
(Relapse of acariasis!)
Now I wear a fuckin' collar!
(An urtication fright, yes,
Get formication nightmares!)
Contracted a bout of ticks, my skin'll fester.
(The batch of mangy blighters!
I'll zap 'em, where's my lighter?)
Furuncles are bloody, these lice hurt!
(My abscess pain has heightened!)

Diseeeeeeeeased!
Mangy beasts!
Covered in miiiiiiiites!
Scratch my damn fleas!

Skin bleeeeeeeeds!
Aint appeased!
More ballllllllm!
Scratch my damn fleas!
(Wretched!)

(Pe-di-cu-lar, ac-ar-us!)

A plague of scarlet-coloured chancres, oh.
(I slap away at my skin!)
My dang weeping lacerations pain below.
(Look at how chafed my hives get.
I have to say, they're quite red!)
Mosquito monsters nearly ate me whole!
(The bastards drank from my skin,
I fester from their biting!)
They all plague me... drive me crazy, yo!
(My back's inflaming nightly!)

They feeeeeeeeast!
Ate my knees!
Oh boy, it smarrrrrrrrts!
Scratch my damn fleas!

Gross weeeeeeeeals!
Scabies? Jeez!
Not funnnnnnnn!
Scratch my damn fleas!

Scratch my damn fleas!
(Pe-di-cu-lar, ac-ar-us!)
Scratch my damn fleas!
(Pe-di-cu-lar, ac-ar-us!)
Scratch my damn fleas!
(Pe-di-cu-lar, ac-ar-us!)
Scratch my damn fleas!
(Pe-di-cu-lar, ac-ar-us!)

(Argh-argh-argh-argh, now I'm scarred!)
(Argh-argh-argh-argh, skin is marred!)
(Rub that balm now!)
(Argh-argh-argh-argh, boy it smarts!)