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Song Parodies -> "Shaky Voice"

Original Song Title:

"Baby Boy"

Original Performer:

Beyoncé ft. Sean Paul

Parody Song Title:

"Shaky Voice"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A man has a shaky voice. He expresses his frustrations...in SONG! Because that's how things work here.
Is it biology (probably)?
Somethin' that's buried deep that makes ev'rythin' I say have awful quality (awful quality)
It's not quite a state like an atrocity (that's not right)
But I want it nice, sing songs great (come on), this is all lame (geez)
It's cruddy, mate (it's shit, bro), cruddy, bro (yo, yo)
Cruddy, mate (yo, yo), cruddy, bro (yo, yo)
They all hate how I sound, buddy

Shaky voice is upon my mind
Near ev'ry time I speak (it's a quirk that I hate, for real)
Because these stupid lips of mine
Simply won't work for me (simply won't work for me) (and I don't know how to heal)
Shaky voice, not a day goes by
You don't fail as I speak (it's the worst of my traits, for real)
This stupid-ass voicebox of mine
Will never work for me (will never work for me) (I doubt it'll ever heal)

Ah-ah, oh-oh, my shaky lines make me groan (oh-na-na-na) (yeah, yeah)
This blows, hurts that I'm still shaky, oh-oh (oh-na-na-na) (real shite)
I'm so mad none of my confidence shows (oh-na-na-na) (uh, yo)
Ugh, you can't see (yo, yo) I'm less weak than I seem (oh-na-na-na) (yo, yo, alright)

Hey man, I've been here dealin' with this affliction at least since I was five
Teachers and parents had a think, assumed that I was shy
They shelled out for a therapist, that was a waste of time
Skipped on appointments like a jerk because my friends had Xbox Live
Said friends, they all took the time to work out what I meant when I
Squeaked out vowels and consonants, it wavered left then wavered right
They got my words but on time wandered, school got left behind
Ran smack into awful troubles of real life, hurts

Shaky voice is a flaw of mine
It stunts the way I speak (it stunts the way I speak) (stupid quirk that I hate, for real)
Just somethin' 'bout this tongue of mine (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
That will not work for me (that will not work for me) (no-one that I know can heal)
Shaky voice, not a day goes by
You don't botch what I speak (by, by, by, by) (just the worst of my traits, for real)
I'd blame these crap tonsils of mine
But I'm not sure, you see (no, I'm not sure, you see) (so I don't know how to heal)

It's not a frog in my throat
There's no harsh, harsh groans to make me sound all parched-y (oh-na-na-na)
Don't need to turn volume high
I've tried it and at best it sounds like geese (oh-na-na-na)
Wish I could be a jerk and blame genetics but
My dad and mum sound fine, see (oh-na-na-na) (me who talks worse)
Please, I want to know what's with me (oh-na-na-na) (it's nonsense, hurts)

Shaky voice, real pain in my hind
Screws up the way I speak (bloody quirk that I hate, for real)
But I don't know which parts of mine
Contain the blame, help me (contain the blame, help me) (somebody tell me they'll heal)
Shaky voice, not a day goes by
You don't mess up a speech (by, by, by, by) (friggin' worst of my traits, for real)
I don't think it's these teeth of mine (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh)
That's all I have, you see (that's all I have, you see) (I must know how I'm to heal)

Shaky voice, always on my mind (yo, yo, mate)
Shaky voice, ev'ry screwed-up line (yeah, yeah, hurts)
Shaky voice, this isn't fine (yo, yo, mate)
Shaky voice, worse than bein' nasal
Shaky voice, never off my mind (oh) (yo, yo, mate)
Shaky voice, muffles ev'ry line (oh) (yeah, yeah, hurts)
Shaky voice, it's far from fine (oh) (yo, yo, mate)
Shaky voice, can't ask for a bagel (yeah, hurts)

I stay locked up, hurts
Stupid vocal problems equal job loss, hurts
Drive round the town? No point to shop stops, works
Better dot-com, hurts
I'd love to be chummy, it just won't work
Stayin' shut up hurts
Got some online buddies and a blog job, works
And apps to tap to order noms, all work
With no talk, what hurts
I feel really cruddy, damn voice, just work (oh-na-na-na)

Shaky voice, you're a pain in my
Backside, you wreck my speech (oh-na-na-na) (heinous quirk that I hate, for real)
At this point, I'd guess that all my
Mouth parts just suck for me (oh-na-na-na) (so who knows how they could heal)
Shaky voice, not a day goes by (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
You don't destroy my speech (oh-na-na-na) (total worst of my traits, for real)
All that comes out is frail whines
Source is a mystery (hard to work out how to heal)

I won't be a squawker this year (squawker, squawker, that's a no)
Won't be a top squawker this year (squawker, squawker, that's a no)
I'll still remain quiet
Got to remain quiet
Hate to look so awkward, I fear (awkward, awkward, afraid so)
I always look awkward, I fear (awkward, awkward, afraid so)
It's best to hide it
I'm gonna hide it

Why is calling your SO "baby" endearing instead of condescending?

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