This is a story about a girl named Ugly...

Early morning, she wakes up
Knock, knock, knock on the door
It's time to mess up, ugly girl
It's you they're all waiting for
They go...
"Isn't she ugly, this Coca-Cola girl?"
And they say...

Chorus:
She's so ugly, she's just lard
but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If I had plastic surgery
Then why am I still so ugly

Lost in her image, it's just a dream
And the whole world's there to wake her up
And her boobs are saggin', and she keeps on baggin'
But tell me what happens when it stops?
They go...
"Isn't she ugly, this Coca-Cola girl?"
And they say...

Chorus:
She's so ugly, she's just lard
but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If I had plastic surgery
Then why am I still so ugly

"Best actress, and the winner is...Ugly.. oh wait there must be a mistake, she's too damn ugly!"
"I'm Roger Johnson for L.O.S.E.R News standing outside the arena waiting for Ugly"
"Oh my god...she's soooo ugly!"

Isn't she ugly, this Coca-Cola girl?
She is so ugly, why doesn't she just die?
If I had plastic surgery
Then why am I still so ugly?

Chorus:
She's so ugly, she's just lard
but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If I had plastic surgery
Then why am I still so ugly