I've watched M*A*S*H a whole bunch, mood goes down, up, down, up
Laugh 'til it hurts my gut then the tears always come
But if I had to pick one sole character to top my love
As a contest, not much, clear winner among the bunch
Gonna let you know (know)

Sure, Hawkeye snarks a lot, whole lot
My favourite one has to be Radar (must be Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
It's a war show, who knew that it had room for cuteness?
Lovable woobie, gotta love Radar (love that Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
The way he talks (way he talks) and then he stops (then he stops)
Gettin' that tingle, Spider-Sense wrinkle, choppers have got (choppers have got)
Patients, it's crazy, is he Darth Vader?
He's the best one of the cast, that's Corp'ral Radar (Corp'ral Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
I love Radar, think he's alright, Radar
He's just so nice (I love Radar), makes my heart shine, Radar

In charge of all the files with a small weary smile
Need some medical crap? He'll scrounge it in a snap
Really him who's in control, without him the camp'd fall
Well, until Klinger steps into the shoes that he left
Sad he had to go (go)

Said Klinger may be lots of fun
But my number one will stay as Radar (must be Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
Grape Nehi, never booze is what he'll choose, excusin'
'Bout the first two or so years, that's Radar (love that Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
Kid of the bunch (of the bunch), got a bear stuffed (teddy's stuffed)
Always remember when he got blitzed, thought it was a gun (wasn't a gun)
Makes sense in context, a real laugh-maker
Never rude or a real cad, that's Corp'ral Radar (Corp'ral Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
I love Radar, think he's alright, Radar
He's just so nice (I love Radar), makes my heart shine, Radar
I love Radar, such a good guy, Radar
Mostly so shy (I love Radar) unless he's riled, Radar

Is he a psychic dude?
It isn't real clear either way
Not really a real character rater (just watch stuff)
But you ask me (so) and I have to say it's Radar
He has to have the highest spot, solid as a rock
Charles then B.J. and then Radar (Potter's fourth), Walter O'Reilly, that's Radar

Sure, Houlihan grows lots, so much
But I have to go with my boy Radar (must be Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
Don't let him ever bugle, not a tune he's tootin'
But I'm still groovin' to my boy Radar (love that Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
Next time I watch (my next watch), I hope to spot (hope to spot)
The hand that's hidden, three of his fingers won't be in shot (won't be in shot)
Might be some scenes where others are greater
But in whole, he tops the stack, that's Corp'ral Radar (Corp'ral Radar), I love Radar (I love Radar)
I love Radar, think he's alright, Radar
He's just so nice (I love Radar), makes my heart shine, Radar
I love Radar, such a good guy, Radar
He's never snide (I love Radar) 'cept to Frank, my Radar

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da