**Chris Bodily TM**
"Congratulations to our girl, Britney Spears, on her new baby!"

**STG**
"We've got some very special guests with us tonight to help us out on this Mash-up."

**Chris Bodily TM**
"This man's character had a very weird name. He is often overlooked in the Star Trek Universe except by fans of the original series. Please welcome..... Walter 'Chekhov' Koenig!

(Walter Koenig walks up on stage. The Trekkie audience goes wild!)

**Walter Koenig**
"This next guest has earned a lot of respect for controlling the Enterprise for the three years that the original Star Trek was on. You know him, you love him, George 'Sulu' Takei!"

(George Takei walks up on stage. The crowd applauds even louder.)

**George Takei**
"Thank you, Chevhov -- Er, I mean... Walter. This man has been there and done that since the beginning of Star Trek's three-year run and beyond. He is most famous for making logic out of every situation, to the best of his abilities. And who could forget his appearances on The Simpsons or his directorial debut, Three Men and a Baby?"

(The crowd goes wild!)

**George Takei**
"That's right, you know who I'm talking about. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Spock himself.... Leonard Nimoy!"

(Leonard Nimoy walks up on stage, pointy ears and all. The audience is unsure whether or not to give a standing ovation just yet.)

**Leonard Nimoy**
And last, but certainly not least, this man is the glue that held us all together in the first place.

(The audience applauds.)

**Leonard Nimoy**
He and I have been best friends for many, many years. His overracting..... And... Dramatic... Pauses.... Have made him..... An icon.

(The audeince goes wild!!)

**Leonard Nimoy**
He has gone from a terrified man on a plane, to a captain in space, to a quasi-siunger, a Rock.... It.... Man!

(The audience can't control itself!)

**Leonard Nimoy**
TJ Hooker, Priceline.com.... And he plays Denny Crane... on Boston Legal. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is an honor for me to welcome to this sacred stage.....
Will.... Iam..... Shat.... Ner!

(William Shatner beams on stage. Standing ovation. The crowd starts "singing" such Shatner classics as "Rocketman" and "Mr. Tambourine Man.")

**William Shatner**
"Why am I even here? You know that I don't really talk like that. The.... Klingons.... Are taking over.... The ship! That's not me. I'm... Acting! I'm.... Playing... A character.... who has been around.... For almost forty years."

**Chris Bodily TM**
One, two, three, four!

(The song begins, thank goodness! We hear a famous chord progression that made a famous pop star even more famous. The crowd goes wild!!!)

**STG**
["Star Trek Convention"]
I wish that I could flyyyyyyyyyy

**William Shatner**
["Oops! I Did It Again"]
Oh, baby, baby
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(The applause continue throughout the entire song.)

I think.... I did it.... Again
I... Made YOU.... Believe we're.... MORE.... Than just friends
Oh.... Baby
It MIGHT seem..... Like-a-crush
But IT... doesn't MEAN... that I'M serious!!!

'Cause I... Command a..... Starship
That IS.... just.... SO typically me
Oh.... Baby, baby

**STG (Chris Bodily TM in parentheses)**
["Star Trek Convention" ("Oops!" in parentheses)]
P. Stewart style
(Oops... I)
H. McCoy
(Did it a--)
Take em to the Enterprise Bridge
(--gain!)
Can you feel it?
("Oops, I did it")
At the Star Trekker Convention
("Again and again and again and again")
Get up!
(I played with your heart)
At the Star Trekker Convention
(We're more than just friends)
Are you ready?
Do you know where you are?

Where no man has gone before, punk
Take a look around

**William Shatner**
["Oops!" with ad-lib background vocals from Chris Bodily TM, Nimoy, Koenig, and STG]
Oops... I..... DIDITAGAIN!!!!
(Oops, oops! Baby, baby! Oops, babe)
I PLAYED..... with your HEART!!!
(Oops, did it again, again)
GOT lost in.... THE game
(I did it again)
You stupid Romulans
(Oh, baby, baby)
Oops YOU... think.... I'minlove
(Oops! You think I'm in love. love)
Set.... My phaser... On STUN!
(Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!)
I'm..... not.... that.... INNOCENT!!!!!!!!

**Chris Bodily TM**
["Star Trek Convention"]
It's Star Trekker's messin' up your town
We downloaded the Spockwave
For all the trekkies in their graves.
It's time to move on.
And maybe you're the one
Who flew over the cuckoo's nest
Watching Star Trek's (The Who?)
Generation Next, Generation Voyage
New episodes and movies are my gain.

**STG**
"Wrath of Khan" was the ****
("Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!")
Unlike "Star Trek" Pt. 3.
("The Search for Spock")
"Insurrection"s the ****
("Resurrection" was Halloween 8)
We're at the Star Trekker Convention.

**Leonard Nimoy**
Cause we love Worf and the Vulcans.
We watch that show every night and,
Once you look at Sci-Fi channel, find me
At the Star Trekker Convention

**William Shatner (George Takei in parentheses)**
["Oops" ("Star Trekker Convention" in parentheses]
YOU see MY problem..... Is THIS
I'm.... In-outer-space
I am a hero..... And never been kissed
I CRY!!!!!!..... Watching the days
(Hey, Kirk! Take my advice)
Can't you see.... I'm a FOOL... in so... Many WAYS
(You don't want to fight with this group of ****}

But I... Command a..... Starship
That IS.... just.... SO typically me
Oh.... Baby... Oh...

**George Takei**
["Star Trekker Convention" with ad-libs from Shatner]
Hey Kirk, take my advise
You don't want to fight with this group of ****
Captain's drunk
("Get a life!")
My world is moronic
("Jive talkin'!")
Enterprise was ****ed
("Yes it was!")
So get a Klingon
("Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!")
And maybe I am just a little f***ed up
Life's just a little f***ed up
Generation next, Generation rocks,
("Rock.... It... Man!")
We just think it's cool, while you think it sucks.
("Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man.... Mr. Tambourine Man!!")

**William Shatner**
["Oops" with ad-libs]
Oops... I.... Did it.... AGAIN!!!!
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
I played.... Captain Kirk
(Talkin' 'bout Next Generation)
And.... Other.... Cool dudes
("Freebird!")
Like Denny Crane!
("TJ Hooker")
Oops... You think I am Spock?
(It's not logical, Captain)
Or.. that villain named.... KHAAAANNNN!
You're such.... an-IDIOT!!!

Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oops! I keep... Doing it
Again and... Again.... and Again.... and Again
I... make you think we're in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm as.... Free.... as a bird.... Now
This bird.... Can never CHANGE!!!

**Walter Keonig**
["Star Trek Convention"]
"Voyage Home" was the ****
Unlike that "Sarek" movie.
"Nemisis" is the ****,
We're at the Star Trekker Convention.

**STG**
Cause we love Worf and the Vulcans.
We watch that show every night and

**William Shatner**
Once you look at Sci-Fi channel, find me
Star Trekker Convention

(Tempo slows down for Shatner to include an impromptu speech that makes absolutely no sense)

**William Shatner**
["Oops" midsection-- the really cool part! With ad-libs too, heck, it's all ad-libbed]
What.... Kind of a name.... Is Britney Spears anyway?
Britney..... Is a variant.... Of the name.... Brittany
Brittany is named after...... The Britons
Those from England.... Who moved to France
During the Anglo-Saxon..... Wars in England
It is a French name.... Like Jean-Luc or..... Jacques

A spear..... Is but a weapon.... Used for killing
(...Oooooops.... I diiiid iiiit agaaaaaaiiiiin..... Again!)
In the days.... Before guns... And phasers
(Jive talkin' ! Telling me lies!)
It is.... Just a stick with a point..... On top of it
(Jive talkin'!)
But it's a very..... Indigenous.... Weapon... If you will
(Oops I keep doiiiiing iiiit agaaaiiiiiin)
I guess her name means..... That.... Britney spears
(Sheeee suuurrrre doooeeees)
She KILLS.... With... Her mu.... Sic!
She makes you.... Think.... Makes you feel.... Makes you dance....
(Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...... Ohhhhhhhhh...... Ohhhhhhhh)
Makes you cry... When she sings... "Everytime"
(Everytime I try to fly, I fal without my wings)
And that's.... How the the name... Britney Spears.... Came to be
(Came to beeeeeee)

["Star Trek convention"]
Mark Lennard's..... dead?
Jive talkin'!
Ilia... is dead And life... Gets the blame
Get a life!
Bibi..... Besch..... is dead?
Freebird!
Dame Anderson's dead? Don't know... who these folks are
You know this bird can never change!

**Chris Bodily TM**
Everytime you try to fly
A gremlin's on the wings
"Let's switch songs!"

**STG**
["Star Trek Convention" with "Oops" and ad-libs in parentheses]
Do you... think we can fly?
(Oops I did it again)
Well I do I do Fly! DJ Lethal... Bring it on!
Oooh yeah! Come on!

(The song is interrupted -- yet again-- by a nuclear meltdown of the Enterprise)

**William Shatner**
"Mr. Spock! Find the anti-Meltdown button.... And cancel the meltdown!"

**Leonard Nimoy**
"Yes, Captain!"

**William Shatner**
"Mr. Scott! Beam me down to the... subbasement!"

**Chris Bodily TM (as Scotty)**
"Rrrrright yer arrrre, Captain!"

**William Shatner**
"Mr. Sulu! Check for viruses... In the ship's hardware!"

**George Takei**
"I'm on it, Captain!"

**William Shatner**
"Dr. McCoy! See if there's a bug... in the... system!"

**STG**
"Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a tech!!"

**William Shatner**
"You're right, McCoy!"

**Chris Bodily TM (as automated voice)**
"Thank you for cancelling the meltdown! If you would like another meltdown, press the Meltdown button."

**William Shatner**
"Our... Ship.... Is safe... Again"

(The song continues right where it left off)


**Chris Bodily TM & STG (Shatner in parentheses)**
["Star Trekker convention" with "Oops" and ad-libs in parentheses]
"Voyage Home" was the ****
(Oops... I.... DIDITAGAIN!!!!....Can't you see?)
Unlike that "Sarek" movie.
"Nemisis" is the ****,
(We stopped..... a... nuclear meltdown!!!.... Oh baby)
We're at the Star Trekker Convention.
(Oops..... you think that I was in.....)
Cause we love Worf and the Vulcans.
(LOOOOOOOOVVVE!!!!)
We watch that show every night and,
Once you look at Sci-Fi channel, find me
(How many times do I have to tell you, girl!)
Star Trekker Convention
(I'm..... not.... that.... INNOCENT!!!!!!!!)

**William Shatner**
["Oops" with ad-libs]
Oops... I.... Did it.... AGAIN!!!!
(Jive talkin', telling me lies!)
I played.... Captain Kirk
(And this Freebird can never change)
And.... Other.... Cool dudes
(Oops I did it again, baby)
Like TJ Hooker
(Oh baby, baby)
Oops... You think I am Spock?
(Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins! the greatest...)
Or.. that villain named.... KHAAAANNNN!
(Little Hobbit of them aaaaaallll)
I'm..... not.... that.... INNOCENT!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah!

(Standing ovation! The audience shout live long and prosper, while Shatner tells the crowd to "Get a life.")