Gold Brick Road

I was raised in luxury
Out where the country club ends.
We'd go to church on Sunday mornings
Just to show off our clothes to our friends.
That's where I first loved money.
Watchin'servants shinin' my Audi.
That summer I turned the corner with my portfolio
Down that gold brick road.

It's where I bank on welfare.
It's where I charge steep rents.
It's where I shake down debtors-
Even if they're my parents.
I learned the path to heaven
Is full of skimmers and deceivers.
Learned that happiness on earth
Is just for big investors.
I've learned; I've come to know
There's graft at both ends
Of that gold brick road.

The ladies love me very much
In my genuine Armani suits.
I seek out savvy consorts in the middle of the night,
Not those penniless prostitutes.
We turn down the silk sheets;
Pretend I am Bill Gates.
Talk about what pork futures might hold
Down that gold brick road.

It's where I banked my first mill.
It's where I gouged leases.
It's where I wrecked my first yacht
And wrote it off my taxes.
I learned the path to heaven
Is full of sinister accountants.
Learned that happiness on earth means
Money: Making mountains!
I've earned; I've come into dough.
Life's great at both ends
Of that gold brick road.

I went out of the market
And I came back in.
I lost money.
Oh, but I got it back again.
And drivin' foes bankrupt
Feels like I've found a long-lost friend.

It's where I drank my liquor.
It's where I used narcotics.
Where I checked into rehab
When my behavior got erratic.
I learned the path to Hades
Is full of sniffers and mainliners.
Learned that happiness on earth
Is just for meditators.
I've learned; I've come to know
Wealth's the best addiction
Down that gold brick road.