So where's the assistance when you need it the most?
Your mom got a maid to make you your toast.
Then you found out she's fat and gross.
She picks at the mole on her nose,
And you don't need no maid no more

Cause you have a fat maid.
You think she's a dude.
She doesn't do anything but eat all your food.
She says she's not old.
You tell her "Don't lie
You have to be at least four hundred twenty five".
You have a fat maid.
She doesn't belong.
And everything she does turns out all wrong.
You have a fat maid
You have a fat maid.

Well you need to study everyday,
You didn't exactly get straight A's.
And your mom is gonna be angry –
You got a bad grade
It's not gonna be fun
When you're not allowed to hang out in the sun
Where should it go?
where should it hide?
If your parents find out, you're gonna die.
You got a bad grade
On the table it's laid.
You come back to find
It's been eaten by the maid.
I guess that's good-bye for your horrible grade
You had a bad grade
It's been eaten by your maid.

You had a fat maid when you needed her most
Oh yeah.
She spit up your grade and now your toast

Let me hear you say summer school
Cause you had a bad grade
Eaten by your fat maid
But you'll never see her again,
She got shot in the head.

And now you miss her yummy toast
So you got a new maid.
Your memories fade.
I can't remember what I was going to say