Welcome to the shopping mall with new displays
Here you can find anything to match your taste
I tried on some red silk pants in just my size
They looked so good on me, I had to buy
And so I wore them to my show
So I wore them to my show (3,2,1)

Now my pants are falling apart
My pants are falling apart
Right here on stage.
Yes, my pants are falling apart
My pants are falling apart
Right here on stage.

Now I'm playing with my band at the theater
We're rockin' out to my new song that's called "Empire"
Then all of a sudden, I feel a tear
I look down and thi-i-ink, "Oh, no, not there!"
This is quite embarrassing
It's really quite embarrassing (aa-aaah)

'Cause my pants are falling apart
My pants are falling apart
Right here on stage.
Yes, my pants are falling apart
My pants are falling apart
Right here on stage.
Right here on stage
Oh-wo-o-o-o-h
Wo-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah

So now my band runs off stage to help me out
To find a safety pin so my pants don't fall down
And if my friends the Nields were here, they would see
That just like Amelia and William, pants are my enemy
Next time I think I'll wear a dress
I think that I will wear a dress

'Cause my pants are falling apart
My pants are falling apart
Right here on stage.
Yes, my pants are falling apart
My pants are falling apart
Right here on stage.
Right here on stage
Oh-wo-o-o-o-h
Wo-oh-oh-oh-ah-ah
Yeah yeah!