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Song Parodies -> "Return Specialist"
Original Song Title:
"The Analyst"
Original Performer:
Delta Goodrem
Parody Song Title:
"Return Specialist"
Parody Written by:
Rocky Mak
The Lyrics
I did do a parody of "Warwick Avenue" by Duffy dedicated to Devin Hester before when he held out, But since the idea of the song was just how his contract was complicated because nobody knew how to pay a return specialist as good as he is in the professional era, and the lyrics of my parody was just a cheap change of 3 words off the original lyrics, so I scrapped it, and this is a better one I did.
Prepare yourself to meet
A man who will not sleep
Returning every kickoff till the touchdowns are complete
Every deeper punts
I’ll run in every one
I’ll milk in extra 10 yards, now your nightmare’s just begun
Oh…
I’ll try to go back in time
I have the records now that Sayers had
Oh…
You’re trying to understand
Why am I a great return specialist?
Why I’m not a target for Kyle Orton?
Or I don’t rush like a running back
Waiting around till I make a big joke of this world
I’m a return specialist
Can you be sure I’m on attack?
Why my stats count as defence?
I wonder how you’ll pay me with a talent much like mine
I can’t afford to sleep
Our offense’s gotten weak
My moves’ been photographed, they get dissected, bit by bit.
But oh no
You’re squib kicking every time
Cutting the extra yards I could have had
Oh…
I’m trying to understand
Free me up. I’m more than a specialist
Silence skeptics with a 60-yard run
Trying to get more playing time
Waiting around till I get receiving touchdowns
I’m a return specialist
I’m always a specialist
Oh…
(Reliving the touchdowns he had
Not a moment for his secretive world)
Why am I a big return specialist?
Why I’m not a target for Kyle Orton?
Trying to get more playing time
Getting first downs, making you frown
Making you guys, look like a clown
Every snap, every down
But now I’m a specialist
A man who will not sleep
Returning every kickoff till the touchdowns are complete
Every deeper punts
I’ll run in every one
I’ll milk in extra 10 yards, now your nightmare’s just begun
Oh…
I’ll try to go back in time
I have the records now that Sayers had
Oh…
You’re trying to understand
Why am I a great return specialist?
Why I’m not a target for Kyle Orton?
Or I don’t rush like a running back
Waiting around till I make a big joke of this world
I’m a return specialist
Can you be sure I’m on attack?
Why my stats count as defence?
I wonder how you’ll pay me with a talent much like mine
I can’t afford to sleep
Our offense’s gotten weak
My moves’ been photographed, they get dissected, bit by bit.
But oh no
You’re squib kicking every time
Cutting the extra yards I could have had
Oh…
I’m trying to understand
Free me up. I’m more than a specialist
Silence skeptics with a 60-yard run
Trying to get more playing time
Waiting around till I get receiving touchdowns
I’m a return specialist
I’m always a specialist
Oh…
(Reliving the touchdowns he had
Not a moment for his secretive world)
Why am I a big return specialist?
Why I’m not a target for Kyle Orton?
Trying to get more playing time
Getting first downs, making you frown
Making you guys, look like a clown
Every snap, every down
But now I’m a specialist
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