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Song Parodies -> "Impotent Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Innocent Eyes"

Original Performer:

Delta Goodrem

Parody Song Title:

"Impotent Guy"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

A rather humorous, FICTIONAL tale of 'Pathetic Phallus-y'
Ooh, my small member is just eleven,
Millimetres long. Yes I know-a-small shlong. I showed my mum and she fainted-
Kersplato!
Ten beers caused gas. I'm still hunting for lasses.
But my lame old thong just contains my bum. No other merchandise.

I piss okay, but it's just not the same.
When my tool is so scantily attached: Ken dolls now cause envy.
In a place that is so bald. Just a digit-lacking fold.
And I hate:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Stop laughing at my erection.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Barely valid for detection.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Stop belittling my pride and joy that died,
Way back in nineteen ninety five.
Let me deny that I'm an impotent guy.

Back in December, was glued to Jim Beam.
The kids at school laughed at my tool. So what, my pants won't cream?
Tried jerking my shaft, with grunting and gasps.
But my shameful shlong won't raise any longer. What a pitiful sight.

I miss the day, a shower without shame.
My dick's lost in gigantic seas of prepuce, skin and infamy.
I can't show my face in Coles. Jealous of their long, creamed rolls.
And I hate:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Stop laughing at my erection!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
It needs surgical correction.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Stop belittling my pride and joy that died,
Way back in nineteen ninety five.
Let me deny that I'm an impotent guy.

There is nothing under foreskin.
Would have thought at least FOUR INCHES!
Females can't look inside my thigh.
Recreation? Joined a castrati choir.

*Piano riff*
An impotent guy.

Just yesterday I gave it a wave.
I swear it tried to raise for me, but Viagra is useless you see.
I suppose I can be told, that it's whimsical and droll.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Stop laughing at my erection.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Too small to put on 'protection'.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, Ha ha ha ha ha!
Stop belittling my pride and joy that died,
Way back in nineteen ninety five.
Let me deny that I'm an impotent guy.

*Chorus fades out*

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0
Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Comments, pleeeeez!
Meli - Ice_Princess - parody artist Mel Kleindienst - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny, where were you when we needed funny comedians?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I be a baby Australian compared to the middle-aged Americans doing Beatles parodies here. (16 years old, 6'2", blonde and I enjoy short walks off long piers) Was your name Mel Kleindienst, Ice Princess or Meli? Do you have a split personality? Does this allow your other two alter-egos to vote for your other's parody? I will go now and eat celery.
SappyNappy - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
You are a retard Puke haha
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Thankyou, SappyNappy. Go chop a tree, you Canadian!
Azza & Nazza - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
the chorus was pretty funny, but the rest of it just had weird crazy pacing
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheers, azza & nazza. Whaddaya mean crazy pacing? I always go word-for-word perfection! (insert every minute mistake I have ever done ever here)
Meli - Ice_Princess - parody artist Mel Kleindienst - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
to Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni): No, no split personalities, it's all the one :) Just.. don't get in my bad books, or another personality might leap at you!! Haha...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
OK, Meli-Ice_Princess-parody artist Mel Kleindienst, I'll make sure my reading sticks strictly to the 'Good Books' section! ;)
Gnep - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, mel, funny song, its good tho
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Gnep, I have no idea how to pronounce your name!
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM 2000). DKTOS and with all the votes gone I would need a prolonging... I mean directional hand with the pacing. Funny read though.
JakeA Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Err, I'm not too good with music links etc so if you'll mosey on over to the following: http://www.midiking.com/cgi-bin/store.cgi And search 'Innocent Eyes', the second one with the 'HO1874' will give you the best idea of what the original sounds like. It's only through midis that you appreciate how good contemporary music actually is by comparison.
BLO-TOWN - August 09, 2004 - Report this comment
You should try some Enzyte...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Being in my late teens, I am at the stage where I actually think I was dropped in a barrel of Enzyte as a baby. It's quite difficult trying to wrestle the thing to death whilst taking classes at an all-girl school.
Johnny D - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM July 2000) Very well, we shall all stop laughing at your erection. No hard feelings. "Castrati choir", that'll send 'em running to their history books! ;-D
Ahnonamis - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM Sorry about laughing in gym. 5^3
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
JD- you of all people should know that the phallus should never be a source of crude laughter!
Ahnonamis- Mr Garrison: 'I was just comparing sizes' -'for six minutes?!' Ahhh South Park...
AMIRIGHT SOTM 2000s SILVER MEDAL JULY 2004 - 2 - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3189.0;id=1454;image

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