(music begins)

(whispers) I don't feel good...

...ahh-crap...

(cough noises similar to OH-WA-A-A-A)

Lying down on my couch of leather
Watching my big-screen TV
[ what's the matter with you? ]
It seems that I picked up a
Tiny bug that is attacking...in me
[ now I know what you mean ]
Flipping through crappy commercials
When suddenly I vomit, violently I vomit - BLEH!
Disgusted by my own upheaval
I felt another rumblin'...in me

Oh no, I guess I'm down with the sickness!
Can't believe that I'm down with the sickness!
Help me out cause I'm down with the sickness!
Open up that medicine and give it to me!!
Skippin' school cause I'm down with the sickness!
Everyday, chicken soup while I'm down with the sickness!
Can't go out and play cause I'm down with the sickness!
I forgot to take all of my vaccinations!!

I can make your eggs fried
My fever is rising
Don't try to deny that I'm ill
[ don't you give it to me ]
It seems that all of my organs have
Failed and are decaying...in me
[ I think you gave it to me ]
I visited the doctor
He prescribed me medications, worthless medications - RAWR!
My bill is a scary sight now
Insurance won't pay penny...for me

Quite a shock that I'm down with the sickness!
Stuck in bed cause I'm down with the sickness!
Go away cause I'm down with the sickness!
Open up that medicine and give it to me!!
Quarantined cause I'm down with the sickness!
The pharmacy's callin' while I'm down with the sickness!
Gotta stay in my bubble; I'm down with the sickness!
My doctor claims there's no chance for recovery!!

(and when I puke...)
(and when I cough...)
(and when I moan...)
(THAT'S WHEN I SCREAM!!!)

*No, mommy, don't take me again!
Don't take me again!
I'm feeling better, I'm feeling better, I promise!
No, mommy, don't let them--
OW!! Why do I have shots like that, mommy?!
Don't do it, you're hurting me-- OW!!
Why do I have to throw-up like that?
I hope I don't, I don't wanna throw-up and DIE!!
I don't wanna lay here and CRY!!
I hope I get some pumpkin PIE!!
Never pour NyQuil down my throat again, punk!
AA-CHOO!! I don't need to be sick!
This stupid, internal, incurable, deadly virus!
Why'd you take me to a quack, mommy?!
Here it comes I'm ready for PIE!!!*

(more cough noises similar to OW-WA-A-A-A)

Woe is me cause I'm down with the sickness!
Don't come close cause I'm down with the sickness!
Feel like crud cause I'm down with the sickness!
Find some anti-bi-otics and give 'em to me!!
Have I told you I'm down with the sickness?
I bet you didn't know that I'm down with the sickness!
Become so Disturbed because I'm down with the sickness!
Illness has now come over me!!