Wayne Brady: Audience, can he have your attention please?
Can he have your attention please?
Will the real Wayne Brady please stand up?!
I repeat, will the real Wayne Brady please stand up!
Colin Mochrie: I'm gonna have a problem here...

Wayne Brady:
Y'all act like you haven't seen a black joke aroud before
Jaws on the floor like Colin, like Ryan just hit the floor
and started french kissin' like never before
they first were arguin', whose's better on stage (Me!) (Ryan Stiles: NOOO!)

It's the return of the black... (Angry Audience Member: Ah, wait, no, your kiddin'! He did not just say what I think he said, did he?)
And Drew Carrey said *Whose Line Buzzer* ... he laughed so hard that now he's dead! His body is locked in my basement! (HEEHEE)
All the white chicks love me *shwinga schwinga schwinga*
"Wayne Brady's so cute,
And that voice, watch out Broadway! I would give my left "you know what" to have "you know who"
"Yeah, but he's black"
I have no bad jokes or screw up, what is your head, loose?
Sometimes, I just wanna let loose for a minute or two
But I don't so I wanna say to Drew Carey, "Screw You"

"My Humors in Your Ears, My Humor's in Your Ears"
Sometimes its dirty and sometimes it's just -uhh- queer!
And sometimes I make fun of the fans of Britney Spears
Of couse I want to make a record, if that, three cheers!

By the time kids reach 4th grade, (Kid in audience, over his lines: Daddy, what's that mean?)
They watch me don't they?
But they ain't nuttin but dumb... but sometimes we daddies
Tell our sons too early (kid: hahaha, really?)
But if you all just watch me and laugh till you pee, I sit in Drew's chair and shout yippee!
(YAY!) If you feel like I feel, you're so happy I know
I've got the chorus, well here it goes

Chorus:
I'm Wayne Brady, the real Wayne Brady
All those other small comics are just imitating
So won't the Real Wayne Brady Please Stand Up,
Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up! (Repeat 2x)

Ha Ha, I won! I guess there's a laugh for all of you
Screw Colin Lets all clap for me!