-> "The Diarrhea Song"
Original Song Title:
"Cleaning Out My Closet"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"The Diarrhea Song"
The Lyrics
Have you ever been in the middle of a piddle, I ask
I have, I've been crapping on my mother's big carpet I guess
Eating mounds for pounds of that granola shit, I'm holding in shit
Sick in the stomach and I have to throw up
Momma, take me to the doctor cause I'm gonna erupt
Drive me there as fast as you can, amps on the whamps
Man, I got the cramps, hold it in as long as I'm still breathing
Keep farting out fumes in the morning, everybody's mourning
Leave 'em with a smell so sour like vinegar in your mouth
See, they can say it was me but they never figure me out
Smelling me now, I bet you're probably sick of me now
Hurry up now Momma, gonna let it out now
CHORUS
I'm sorry doctor
I never meant to shit, oooh
I never meant to shit on your floor
So tonight, I'm cleaning up your office
I said I'm sorry doctor
I never meant to shit, oooh
I never meant to shit on your floor
So tonight, I'm cleaning up your office
I got crap locked up in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it
So before they throw me in the bathroom and let me expose it, I'm gonna blow it
I'll take you back to seventy-six where I was just a little kid blowing out farts and the shit
I was a baby, maybe just a couple of weeks
My fucking Huggies didn't help me cause I always got leaks
I wonder how I even got by
No, on second thought, when I farted, I would always just lie
Look at me now, always getting pains in my side
Wish I hadn't eaten all them fucking beans on the side
Even if I hated to fart, I grit my teeth and just try
Had to do it for my manners sake
I maybe made some mistakes, I'm only human
But I'm man enough to face my own smell today
What I was let out was grotesque, no doubt it was gross
The smartest shit I did was didn't bother to boast
Cause I would have boasted, and I'd be proud of my smell
It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to the Diarrhea Hell
CHORUS
Now I would never break wind just to get recognition
Take a second listen before you think my smell's aprehensive
But put yourself in my position
Try to envision shtting wherever you go
Hemmerhoid cream in the kitchen
Bitching that someone's always in the tub
A-scrub-a-dub-dub
Going through Mylanta like it came from a tap
And all it gives me now is the mother-fucking cramps
Going into public bathrooms
And putting paper around
So I wouldn't catch AIDS or HIV or whatever the hell else
But guess what, I'm older and it stops
My shit doesn't always eject in those little bitty drops
See what hurts me the most is that I shit on your floor
I rather rub it on your walls and then do it some more
But how dare you try to put me on them prescription pills
I get the mother-fucking cramps when I'd be walking up hills
You selfish doc, I hope you burn up your cock
Remember when Donna died of frantic diarrhea
Guess what, she passed it on down to me-ah
CHORUS
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 3.1 | |
How Funny: | 3.3 | |
Overall Rating: | 3.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 30 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | | 11 | |
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