-> "Spare Pants"
Original Song Title:
"Square Dance"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Spare Pants"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
Blimpo, set heavy,
A real huge gut cuz I'm fat!
Lard-fill patties and lots of
Jelly-filled gelatin dipped in
Goop with goobers
And more food than Europe
Til belt loops are broken and the
Room is smoothing
My suety boobs.
[sounds of boobs rubbing against wall]
Never cease to swipe at cream or fudge.
These strong buttons have pushed into my flesh.
I'm a fan of grease, lots of Maltesers have just rolled under-seat.
It a place stocked with feed!
All this trifle I had to eat with shrimp, oh,
I'm fat now and I have been teased as 'Blimpo'.
Tiny briefs that cannot contain my pimples.
Pound of chips and rump of beef is trim? NOO!
Not even in a gay bar,
Can I get grease to make these midday hunger pangs stop.
I swallow three of my Cot cheese Saos and, uh-oh!
My grey pants, they break off.
[ripping/tearing noises]
I'm so round
So fat, plump and stout
Near four-six-four pounds
But my pants have hit the ground.
Won't deter dessert or yoghurt chow.
A new pair now-
Spare pants.
They did tear down all the back, meh, one more snack. (Mmm!)
A cookie-monster attack and a spam pack.
I'm a man whose damn tush will push pants limitations.
Smoosh the excess weight with luscious lubrication.
It fits? Waistband is tight and it bites, but hey someone's mind bright as mine says
'Quite alright that the flubber works wonders and keeps pants up here.'
Oh no, I won't need no long cincture.
Cocoa, I want sieved on Mongol pears.
Juicy prune juice. Oreos, Jello squares.
You there! Don't think I've swallowed bears?
Hoed down Babe Ruth bars by truckloads there?
Yeh I scoff til my rather chubby butt gets puffed up.
I now have taut shorts, ripping with fluff and stuffing.
Til an awful sound rents the club with ruptures.
Can't hide my haunches, stuck in public half-starkers.
Hopelessly spastic until I grab a package.
Packed with these baggy white slacks with checkered patterns.
Grab a mirror, extended to fit expansion.
Next thing you know I'm got buckled pants on, fastened.
Rejoin the luncheon with lots of strudel in gravy.
I lust for flavours, eating the food like I'm crazy.
I've ate the plate now, heating the soup, microwaved leeks.
My fanny's great, but get baked goo for the cake, please.
Lazy from weight drives waiters crazy.
But I pay their wage, one plane daily!
My boobs they hang and pants do strain, hey,
If they do break, great, I brang thick-made braces!
I'm so round
So fat, plump and stout
Near four-six-four pounds
But my pants have hit the ground.
Won't deter dessert or yoghurt chow.
A new pair now-
Spare pants.
Stuffing fills me more than a milky smoothie.
Mutton grilled meat, buns all congealed- how groovy!
Barfing spills galore, goopy spew is free.
There's nothing you can do to me, flab reeks fruitily.
Asthmatic, lymphatic, flabby my blubber shakes like it's aquatic
Ain't no buttocks fatter it grows round from butter batter.
Gotta pack a lot of pantaloons and others
Oops- my butt's uncovered- bum's a bubble larding got to cut some garters,
Keep munching there's more lunch here to take.
Keep crunching biscuits, pant'loons split and break?
Grab the jodhpurs, please. Strong cotton, knitted fleece.
Chug lots of cranberries, mug smeared with slop like these lemon seeds.
Hungry, stop the chunder siege.
Number three for my count of tongues in me.
Strongest reek like a sock of pongs, you see.
Thickshake pee, my pants wet like under-sea.
Spare undies, rather grotty, they're pants on Sunday.
But can't be held on my body by mid-Monday.
My pants busting, ass like N.Y.
Lets get heavy, shorts made of material bags, hessian!
I'm so round
So fat, plump and stout
Near four-six-four pounds
But my pants have hit the ground.
Won't deter dessert or yoghurt chow.
A new pair now-
Spare pants.
Just today: got some spare pants for me
Fatty bod: got some spare pants for me
Extra-large seat: got some spare pants for me
Bust four times: got some spare pants for me
Handy britches, spare pants for me.
Packed some britches, spare pants for me.
When they split, so-blimp-o, fart with ease.
Thirty-trousers, got some spare pants for me
Leeeeviiiiiis!
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.7 | |
How Funny: | 4.4 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.5 | |
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Total Votes: | 25 |
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | | 21 | |
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