[Chorus: repeat 2X]

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Mr. O' Grady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] Mr. O' Grady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

[O' Grady]
Hi kids! Do you like science? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna learn about Nine Inch Nails or wanna learn about eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Copy me and do exactly like I do (Yeah yeah!)
Or you'll get detention until the last week of June? (Huh?)
Your brains are dead weight, I'm tryin to get your heads straight
but I can't figure out which activity I should do from this science page (Ummmm..)
And Mr. Nixt said, "O' Grady your a butthead!"
Uh-uhhh! "How can you teach junior high science AND English? Man your going to end up dead!"
Well since you all are around age twelve, I'll do something else
Maybe I should tell you about a polar bear's pelt
Get ticked off and rip the wall calendar off
And smack it so hard you all will be sitting criss-crossed
I observe a fat pound of grass
Faster than Mr. Nixt and his whole stupid class
C'mere slug! (O' Grady, wait a minute, that's my bug man!)
I don't give a hoot, it's a part of my lesson plan!

[Chorus]

[O'Grady]
As you may know, I'll be your English teacher for junior high
And by the way, next semester I'll be 35
I'll make you clean the whiteboards with one eraser, make you reload the classroom stapler
While I grade all of your homework papers papers (Awwwwwwww!!)
Walk in to the book club, have your books all checked off
Tell the librarian, then give you each a pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Teach you all new words, like extraterrestrial and pedestrian
And you'll be telling the dictionary: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my adult life I've been teaching
I just found out my mom's been doing preaching (Whoa!)
I'll give you all really long lectures
Make a lecture about doing drugs and then eat my daily dose of pepper (Uh your weird)
You'll have volcanoes that'll blow up in your face
But hopefully at the science fair you win the first place (Coooooool!)
This guy at the staff luncheon asked for my attendance sheet
(O' Grady give me the attendance sheet)
So I gave it to him, here it is you son of a (bleep!)

[Chorus]

[O'Grady]
Stop the class! There's an emergency fire drill! (Get out!)
Get your kids and line them up single file on the hill!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too early to go (That's that!)
So I had to remind the office that it was planned for tomorrow
(Huh yup!) Am I teaching or learning? I really dont know
Am I getting senile? I can't be, I'm only 34! (Check your head)
All this year you'll be very deprived
You grand old class of 2005!
(Whoops!) Charles, put away your comic of the Incredible Hulk (Says who?)
Or I'll spit when I talk and I'll fail anyone that walks (C'mere)
I'm not looking forward to another year of fits
Or I'll get you all expelled (AAH!)
You naughty little kids! (AAHHH!)
I lay asleep on the top of my desk
Put a blanket under me and get a good rest (Snore!)
I'm teaching well
Until I see a spitball, right on my hat (Huh?)
And I yell WHO IN THE H*LL THREW THAT?