-> "Devout Me"
Original Song Title:
"Without Me"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Devout Me"
Parody Written by:
Nib Oswald
The Lyrics
Holy Christ, real psalms, basilica.
My halo sparkles, I know it outshines.
Glows and outshines, glows and outshines.
(vocal scratch) God! (vocal scratch) God!
Some angels! Hark all, come down and shout lines.
Loudly shout lines. Loudly shout lines.
(vocal scratch) God! (vocal scratch) God!
Jehovah!
Guess who's back, from the dead.
May be Jack... could be Fred...
Jews attack, lash his back, then he's hacked up and tacked to a rack
Like those chaps in Iraq.
Hannukah? No way! Hannukah? Oy vey!
He's creating a garden. The universe starts to enlarge and to form.
But old Hades has got clever.
Now Eve has met Satan, guess what that guy gives her:
An apple from a tree, hexing us forever.
That cobra with the cold heart was smart, tricked 'em with his charm,
Then they got shocked when old God grimaced and then locked 'em
Outside of his lovely nation.
Soon they're wanting a baby and they're copulating. (Hey!)
So Cain is then born for cultivating,
Filling sacks with his wheat grass and crops for eating.
I know you abhor your brother Abel,
But to slaughter him's probably not the way, fool!
There's a wretched breeze and swelling seas,
And wet knees feel freezing- help me please!
Before the rain comes down to drench the place,
Noah piles in mammals...not in threes.
So, come and worship God on our ship.
Luck that dove has a snip of branch in its nib.
On day seven, He rested around up in heaven.
I just want a seat in front row. Fuck the Devil!
Now this cool guy's a God for me.
His heaven party's hangover-free.
Just a measly little conversion fee.
Now I feel so saintly, devout me.
I said Christian life's the one for me.
You heretics all unholy be.
I don't need a dreidel or white sari,
Cuz I feel so saintly, devout me.
Down in hell there's skin peeling it melts, yeah.
And various terrors with spears to impale ya.
They'll start wielding spikes, scissors and scalpels,
These demons come along with their pitchforks and yell "Pitch!"
They're hissing, glaring, pissing on fairies,
Their farts are soon mushrooming, polluting your air. Praise the devil.
And just let him swivel his ass as he cackles and gabbles on, spitting out gas.
He's a sick bastard. Such a prick has to be.
Horrid to see Saddam touching his nads, manhandling.
Well, that's wack. (voice scratch)
Lots of friends are sinners, loony men who simply wanna
Enter in and just wander heaven with the cherubs.
So errant in their action, black are their innards of sin digestion.
From Ezra to Esther, they question everything said in the Testaments.
"This thing's a bunch of *bleep*. Free redemption without no confession fee?
Must be nonsense, so delusory."
Makes no sense? Get bent! It's grand to me!
Now this cool guy's a God for me.
His heaven party's hangover-free.
Just a measly little conversion fee.
Now I feel so saintly, devout me.
I said Christian life's the one for me.
You heretics all unholy be.
I don't need a dreidel or white sari,
Cuz I feel so saintly, devout me.
He kicked it, old Lazarus, in his wicker casket.
Everybody is mourning his stiff cadaver.
Jesus passes through the stench of gases.
Hearse needs deferral: he's risen, master!
From Moses, Pharaoh got thumb-to-noses.
Just 36 years ahead treading sand roads, kids.
From gross locusts to huge frogs, sea flowed and soaked him.
Nobody's missing him. Heck no, he's dead yo.
Such Biblical symbols simply act metaphorical as precedence.
They've been wrote as useful tips, principles.
Commandments hence spurn ourselves from what is sinful.
The son Christ, the Ghost, Big Cheese,
Everybody knows these chumps: The Christian Three.
But Christmas fees are disgusting.
It sickens me, it must be weaned
Cuz when shops are bursting with Santa jerseys,
Agnostics worship this merchandising,
These new gifts ooze with gross lavishness.
Shop cues are booming from this business.
Hey! There's a shop clerk at work,
Selling billions of what tykes out there deserve,
Wallets fatter from sharing Christian themes,
Christmas feels so empty, discount me.
Now this cool guy's a God for me.
His heaven party's hangover-free.
Just a measly little conversion fee.
Now I feel so saintly, devout me.
I said Christian life's the one for me.
But everybody, is hollow, see.
And we need to quit this commerce frenzy,
Cuz we're stealing plenty, why not give?
Ha-a-lle-lujah.
Ha-a-lle-lujah.
Ha-a-lle-lujah.
A-a-amen.
Ha-a-lle-lujah.
Ha-a-lle-lujah.
Ha-a-lle-lujah.
A-a-amen.
Gifts!
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.4 | |
How Funny: | 4.5 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.5 | |
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Total Votes: | 20 |
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