My turkey's dry,
Tasteless, bland, and crusty,
Make it something tasty to eat,
I'll pour gravy on you,
Gravy on you,
Lemme pour gravy, gravy on you,
Oh,

Can't you see what you do to me, turkey,
You make me sleepy you make me want to take a nap,
But I love it I'll eat you until I get sick,
You're truly the only one that can do this to me,
You just make me get so hungry,
I get hungry,
When I start the flame,
When I smell the scent and see the texture and moisture that is steaming from within,
You're like a steak but sliced thinner,
You're what I want for dinner,
I could be snowed into my house and survive of you for the winter,
And the next day I'm back at Safeway,
Pickin' up more turkey,
What the heck's wrong with me?
Am I addicted or what?
If it's taste or is it texture that is attracting me to you,
They say every man's favorite meal is a steak or a stew,
Which would explain why I get so darn angry and pissed when they don't have my turkey when I'm eating out,
But you deserve it, your scent is sweet,
You are everything that I have ever wanted to eat,
But if there's one thing about you I admire is that you come in dark and white meat,
Like no other bird, this must be quite a hard feat,
It's always something different to eat,
And then you can stuff it with potatoes, yams, candy corn, or stuffing,
Or if I am lazy I can just eat you without nothing,
You're always full of surprises,
I'm always finding wishbones and feathers,
And coupons, I get money off you barely cost me,
Because I buy you so much I'm on the frequent fowl miles,
I'm only 27 and you're already endangered,
But, oh no, what is this?
You ain't causin' me bliss,
Your taste is rather disgusting,
Your texture is rather repulsing,
I don't know what's wrong,
Emergency, stop the song,
I remembered the pepper, salt, stuffing, broccoli, and peas,
It's not coming to mind,
As to why you are so dry,
Why this turkey's not great I have not in my mind,
Please, Lord, will you show me a sign?

(My turkey's dry, something is terribly wrong,
I know what to do to prolong!),
My turkey's dry,
Tasteless, bland, and crusty,
Make it something tasty to eat,
I'll pour gravy on you,
Gravy on you,
Lemme pour gravy, gravy on you,
Oh,

You are the highlight to my plate, the way my knife is to my fork,
The morale, the fiber, I may sound like a dork,
Every time I see the gravy dripping from,
The sides, I can't help but think I'll be sipping some,
Oh the gravy is spilling over to the potatoes,
But I love it because it makes that better, oh,
The stuffing is getting a little bit of it, too,
I know there's enough for me but I doubt there is enough for you,
The only way that I am able,
To stay unstable in my diet is the legs on the table,
Haven't given way so there's no reason to go away,
So I can sit here day after day after day after day,
And stuff my face with the grace of a pig, set a place,
It is essential, it's the air I breathe,
Believe me, if it was to ever leave me, I'd probably have nothing to eat,
You are the K to my FC,
You're the cram to by berry,
The end to my family tree,
The thanks to my giving,
You are the word I am looking for when I'm tryin' to describe how hungry I am but the right word won't come to my mind,
You are the Heaven on Earth the very joy of my tummy,
If I had to go without you, I would start feeling funny,
You are the root to my evil,
You make me take part in gluttony,
You let me hop to the pantry before I start to expand, see,

(And no matter how much, too much is never enough,
Unless, of course, the meat is too rough!),
My turkey's dry,
Tasteless, bland, and crusty,
Make it something tasty to eat,
I'll pour gravy on you,
Gravy on you,
Lemme pour gravy, gravy on you,
Oh!