The Lyrics
[Cowboy Troy]
"Cowboy Troy, Real Name, No Gimmicks..."
[Record Scratches]
[Beat Changes]
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
round the outside, round the outside.
Two trailer park girls go round the outside,
round the outside, round the outside.
Wooo!
[Female Voice]
"Ooooohhhhh!"
Guess who's back, back again
Alan's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back, guess who's back,
guess who's back...
Duh da
Da um, da um, da um, da um, da um, da um, da um,
Duh da
Da um, da um, da um, da um, da um, da um, da um,
Garth's created a monsta, 'cuz nobody wants to
See Alan no more, they want Shady,
He's chopped liver.
Well, if you want Alan, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicka
Then a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor when I'm not cooperating
When I'm rockin' the table while he's operating "AHH!"
You waited this long to stop debating
'Cuz Dean's back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Mrs. Jackson
But your husband's truck problem is complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me so let me see
They tried to shut me down on CMT
But it feels so empty without me
So come on dip, hand on your lips
Skrew that
Come on your feet and some on your heads,
And get ready 'cuz this stuff's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, "**censored** you cowboy!"
Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for Dean
So everybody just follow Keech
'Cuz they need a little controversy,
'Cuz it feels so empty without Garth
I said this looks like a job for Clint
So everybody just follow Kix
'Cuz Britt needs a little controversy,
'Cuz it feels so empty without Garth
Little Rascals, jerks feelin' rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Garth Brooks
They start feelin' like prisoners, helpless,
'Til John Rich comes along on a mission and yells "DUDE"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution,
Pollutin' the air waves
A cowboy,
So let me just revel and bask,
In the fact that I got Ronnie Dunn kissin' my rump
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For Clint to see so dumped much of my rump, you asked for me?
Well I'm back (Da Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) fix your bent antenna
Tune it in and then I'm gonna enter
Into the front of your skin like a big scab
The center of attention back for the winner
I'm interesting, the best thing since Garth Brooks
Infesting in Dean's kids ears and nesting
"Testing: Attention Please!"
Feel the tension soon as someone mentions Keech
Here's Britt's 10 cents, Richie's 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, Garth sent for me?
(Chorus 2x)
Verse 3:
A tisk-it a task-it,
I go tit for tat with anybody who's talkin' this stuff, that stuff
Keech Rainwater, you can shoot your eye out
Worse than them little Limp Bizkit winners,
And Alan?, you can get smaked by Toby,
You 48 year-old blond-headed dude blow me
You do know me, you're too good
Let go, it's over, nobody listens to Richie
Now let's go, just give John the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Garth turned himself into a symbol (knife scrapes)
But sometimes the stuff just seems,
Everybody only wants to discuss Clint
So this must mean I'm disgusting,
But it's just Garth it's just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the dumb thing since Michael Jackson,
To do rap music so selfishly
And use it to get myself wealthy (DUDE!)
There's a concept that works
20 million other hot cowboys emerge
But no matta how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty without me
(Chorus 2x)
(Sung twice:)
Chemie-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Dean: "Kim!"