Eminem as nurse:

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim cowboy please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim cowboy please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen Richie McDonald before
Jaws all on the floor like Clint and Lisa just burst in the door
And started whoopin' her butt worse than before
They first were marriage, goofing off over Lily (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Michael Britt said... nothing you idiots!
Ronnie Dunn's weird, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Sexiest women love Big and Rich {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Big Kenny, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around with his cute little boy,
singin' with you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cool though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin' on in Dean Sams' kitchen
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just get dumb, but can't
But it's cool for John Rich to hump a dead horse
"My lips are on ya hand, my lips are on ya hand"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to stupid girls
And expect them not to know what Alan Jackson's truck is his
Of course they gonna know who Ronnie Dunn is
By the time they hit high school
They got the Comedy Central don't they?
"We ain't nothin' but losers.." Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dumb cowboys and listeners
Then there's no reason that chesney and zelweger can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
everyone wave ya cowboy hat, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus(2x):

I'm Slim cowboy, yes I'm the real cowboy
All you other Slim cowboys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim cowboy please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?


Clint Black don't gotta cuss in his songs to sell his records;
Well Garth does, so screw him and screw you too!
You think I give a dang about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Garth, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Taylor Swift? Snap, The guys of Lonestar better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Gretchen Wilson and John Rich
And hear Garth argue over who he gave head to first
Little dude put me on blast on CMT
"Yeah, Dean's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download him audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Michael Britt VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
Who sing like me; who JUST DON'T GIVE A DANG like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next worst thing but not quite me!

Chorus


I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin' you
Things Keech jokes about wit his friends inside Dean's livin' room
The only difference is I got the rights to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
We'd just get on the mike and spit it
And whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just sittin'
Betta than ninety percent of you cowboys out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate Kix's goin' when he's something
He'd be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurses butts when Dean's jackin' off with Jergens
And Garth's jerkin' but his whole bag of Viagara isn't workin'
And every single person is a Slim cowboy lurkin'
He could be workin' at McDonald's, spittin' on your cheeseburgers
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin' lot, circlin'
Screamin', "I DON'T GIVE A **censored**!"
Wit his windows down and his system up
So, will the real cowboy please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta Clint's mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as Garth can, how does it go?

Chorus (4x)


Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim cowboy in all of us
Skrew it, let's all stand up