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Song Parodies -> "When I'm Worn"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Gone"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"When I'm Worn"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I'm gonna warn y'all, this one is a little...weird. More so than normal.
Yeah, it's my life
As an old shirt, I guess

Have you ever hugged someone so much they filled your arm holes?
No symbolism, no, lit'rally filled your arm holes
Coverin' lungs and heart even though you're not good armour
But they still enjoyed how you clung to larger parts harder
But what happens when Master forgets to ever wear you?
Leavin' you on the hanger like he cannot bear you
Can't stand you even though you restrained causin' him pain
Master stayed in good shape and Master's height stayed the same
Master should love me, I'd stretch for chubby or skinny
But he throws on plain, same-y, vaguely-grey shirts, he missed me
Master, please wear me once, just once, wanna feel your flesh
Against my fabric once more, somehow without any nerve ends
But you turn me down and for what? No sweater or jumper
Whatever word you wanna use to describe clothes with comfort
Do you hate me? Yeah, hate me, or maybe lazy
May be crazy, but all I'm made for's barred from me, save me, huh

Cause when I'm worn, it feels so warm, I mourn the loss
Of the times I wrapped around you, you've got to know that
I've got no face, but I'm findin' that when your bare fingertips
Brush past me, I can't refrain, I smile, glad
Cause when I'm worn, it feels so warm, I mourn the loss
Of the times I hung tight to you, you've got to know that
I've got no face, I'm still sighin' cause only your fingertips
Have touched me, I miss the days, no lie, that

Would never let my sleeve get caught on doorknobs, know that stings
Heard you screamin' when that happens, you swing
Round wildly, heard you cry "Why?", right to the floor flyin'
I would never make you feel that sore and I'm not lyin'
Some shirts would say that, they always say you'll be safe this time
But round your neck, make you sore, stranglin' tight
Got a loose collar from wear and tear, thought you would want it
Then you'd see, then you'd wear me, then you would love it
Got no shirt pockets, I know you think that they feel awkward
Upon your nipples, never make 'em chafe, Master, there's the clincher
Please look for me in the closet past the mirror
Wish I could talk, I'd be callin' hopin' you would hear 'em
But if you cannot hear me gasp when your sight goes past me, I
Shouldn't expect my pleadin' would do somethin', might be too late
I can't give up, though, you might keep that meme t-shirt on
Might think it looks schway, it's not, I suit all seasons, stop with the missin'

Cause when I'm worn, it feels so warm, I mourn the loss
Of the times I was around you, you've got to know that
I've got no face, but I'm cryin' when your barest fingertips
Just touch me, hard to refrain, sad smile, glad
Cause when I'm worn, it feels so warm, I mourn the loss
Of the times I clung tight to you, you've got to know that
I've got no face, teeth are grindin' when half of your fingerips
Skim past me, miss the good days, no lie, that

Memories, they bubble, keep comin' back to me
When I was chosen, they float by so close, but they seem
To be in doubt by some part of me, can't work out
Brain's screamin' so loud, but I have no brain, surely now
That checks out, shirts do lack screamin' brains, freakin'
But I do see some moron's face with tears streamin'
Down their face, not believin' the words Master is speakin':
"Told you you can't leave me, now you won't remember bein'
A human, one that dared to make me feel real sad
I guess you had a point, I'm a sleaze and a cad
Completely awful, but the problem is how you voiced
Your valid point, now all your mem'ries are goin'"
Whoa, hang on, wait, that's a fate that's simply devoid
Of reason, logic and all the things that you'd really want
To turn someone into a shirt that you keep
Because you hate bein' told how much you are a creep
Feelin's are hurt? Tough shit, yeah, I remember it
No longer cloudy, yeah, words th-that I feel
I need to voice at this time changin' on me
No longer need to hang 'round you, that's gross, you're that sleaze
Who I shut down to applause from the crowd watchin'
The look on your face, knew you'd hate me, but all this
The brainwashin', the dark magic
I called you "Master"? Won't do that no more, that shit? Shower, must have it
My brain fog's cleared up, clear as day, seein' your ass readin'
And speakin' those words, I'll be freein'
I can feel all my limbs returnin', soon you'll be yearnin'
That I'll be nice and trap you the same way, verdict: hell no, you'll burn in flames

You won't be worn, you'll just be warm, move on to hot
Flames will climb up all around you, you can't just blow that
And I'll look down on you smilin', no chance that I'll feel a thing
No guilt cause you broke my brain, don't like that
You won't be worn, you'll just be warm, move on to hot
Flames will climb, no escape round you, you can't just blow that
And I'll look down on you findin' that my heart won't feel a thing
Zero problem with your pain, I like that

I'm surprised I don't go into crazy weird tangents in rap parodies more often. I guess this time I forgot to plan out ahead of time what verse was gonna be about what like I usually do.

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