"May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please. Will the real Ringo Starr please stand up, I repeat, will the real Ringo Starr please stand up. We're gonna have a problem here."

Y'all acting like you never seen a Beatle before.
Jaws on the floor, like Cynthia, when she saw John and Yoko
In the nude looking worse than before
I can't even laugh at that anymore.

It's the return of me, "Ah wait, no way, you're kidding. I don't have to do what you tell me, do I?"
And Paul McCartney said... Nothing you idiots.
Paul McCartney's crap, he's selling out in the US.

None of the women like Ringo Starr, 'chigga, chigga'
"Ringo Starr, I'm sick of him, look at him getting a tattoo, no way!
and piercing out his ears, oh no!"
"But I think he's cute"
Yeah, probably got the ugliest nose in the world, but no worse to see the room that Michael Jackson had his nose done.
Sometimes I wanna get on my drums and let loose but can't
But it's cool for Shakira to shake her arse on TV
"Me bum is on your screen, me bum is on your screen"
And if I kick it, she will let out a big scream.
That is the message I deliver to little kids expecting them to know who The Beatles' drummer was.
Of course they ain't gonna know, but they should, should they?
They're parents spent a lot of money on the Anthology, right?
"We were just a band from Liverpool"
Well if you look at Paul and see how big he became
Then you know what shit it is and just a big lie.
You never look at my story because I'm not dead.
So if you wanna know, sing with me folks.

Chorus
I'm Ringo Starr, yes I'm the real Starr
All you other crap drummers won't go too far.
So won't the real Ringo Starr, please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up.
(repeat)

Tommy Lee of Motley Crue has to get naked to sell records
Well I don't so dash it, I just won't.
You think I even care about critics, half the guys don't wanna bother
let alone stand me
"But Rings, what if we like you, wouldnit be neat."
Why you guys just lied so you could humiliate me in front of Britney Spears.
Christina Aguilara better not laugh or I will put her in between Carson Daly and Fred Durst and show the world what she really does.
Bloody blighters, you never put me on MTV
"Yeah he's cute, but I think he's too old, hee-hee"
I should get a copy of Christina's album and compare it to Abbey Road in front of the whole world.
I'm sick of that Slim Shady, all he does is piss me off so I was sent to spoof him and piss him off.
And there's a million of you just like me
Who talk like me, don't get recognition like me.
Who look like me, dress, drum and act like me
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.

Chorus(2)

Ha, ha so you did come and listen to me
Dash it, let's all stand up.