(Vince)
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Steve Austin please come back?
I repeat, will the real Steve Austin please come back?
We're gonna lose all our money here.

(SCSA:)
Hey, you act like you never booked matches before
Like Stone Cold just walked out the door
'Cause the product's worse than ever before
Got sick of the crap, Vince fell in his own trap (WHAT?!)

It's the signing of.....wait, you're kidding
He didn't just sign who I think he did, did he?
And Kevin Nash said....
"OWWW, my quad!! I think I need hip replacement!"
Wrestlin' fans love S-C-S-A
What?! What?! What?! "Look at Steve Austin, I'm sick of him
Givin' Stunners to God-knows-what and God-knows-who...
Yeah, but he kicks ass, tho."

Yeah, I probably got a few screws up in my head loose.
After slappin' my wife around in our million-dollar bedroom
Sometimes I watch the new guys on TV and think "He's on juice"
But it's cool for HHH to hump Katie Vick's corpse?!
"It's the NWO! It's the NWO!"
Big fat hairy deal, our ratings are still low!
We expect the peple to watch this crap and not know..
Of course they're gonna know our ratings are bad by the time they go online
They read the newsboards, don't they?!
We ain't gonna save ratings, since Triple H is dating Steph McMahon lately
But if Steph can keep writing crap that's low-rating
There's no reason I should stick around WWE
If you feel like I feel, you'd also leave
Grab your cameras as I go, here's the choprus, how's it go?!


I'm Steve Austin! Yes, I'm the real Austin.
All you other Steve Austins have your lives to get lost in.
(Vince:)
"Would the real Steve Austin please come back? Please come back! Please come back!"
(SCSA:)
I'm Steve Austin, yes I'm the real Austin
And the real Steve Austin won't come back, won't come back, won't come back.

Vince doesn't know we're losing ratings
Well I do, so I'm leaving, yeah, Screw You!
You think I give a damn about staying?
I don't need another job with what Vince was paying!
"But Steve, When you leave, what'll we do?"
Why? So you can do what you do, and put me in a stupid feud
Against the likes of Scott Hall and Kevin Nash?
And argue about who's booking this trash?
Let's face it, there's no way to save WWE
(Steph:):"Let's push Hunter straight to the top, hee-hee."
As you're downloading my theme song on MP3,
Cause you think I'll return eventually!
I'm sick of all this bad booking
While nobody' s looking
Yeah, I smell what the Rock is cooking!
There's a million guys in the indies jsut like me
Who dress like me, talk like me, and act like me
Why doesn't Vince sign one of them to replace me?
Cause they might just be the next best thing, 'cause it won't be me!

I'm Steve Austin! Yes, I'm the real Austin.
All you other Steve Austins have your lives to get lost in.
(Vince:)
"Would the real Steve Austin please come back? Please come back! Please come back!"
(SCSA:)
I'm Steve Austin, yes I'm the real Austin
And the real Steve Austin won't come back, won't come back, won't come back.

It's like a headtrip to realize
Cause I'm leaving the company that's starting to end
Cause there's no fix
The only differnec eis I got the balls to leave before Steph destroys it all
With booking that makes no sense at all
And let's face it, there's no way to fix it
Whether or not Vince wants to admit it,
I'm smarter the 90% of the wrestlers in here.
Then you wonder why we're losing ratings, Hogan needs Carbon dating
'Cause at the rate that we're going, if we raise ratings then in Hell it's snowing
We're signing people who don't know the meaning of working
In every single poerson there's a Steve Austin lurking
He could be yellin' at Jerry The King, sick of this "Puppies!" thing
Or in the parking lot circling, screaming "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?"
Wishing he could be a wrestler and start kicking butt.
The Real Steve Austin' ain't comin' back
So Vince better get ready to take the flak
Steph's proud of her booking being out of control
One more time, loud as you can, how does it go?!

I'm Steve Austin! Yes, I'm the real Austin.
All you other Steve Austins have your lives to get lost in.
(Vince:)
"Would the real Steve Austin please come back? Please come back! Please come back!"
(SCSA:)
I'm Steve Austin, yes I'm the real Austin
And the real Steve Austin won't come back, won't come back, won't come back.


Guess there's a Steve Austin in each of us. Eh, screw it, let's get out while we can