(VERSE 1)
Now have you ever been flushed down or pooped out against your own will?
I have, I've been forced out with mineral oil and pills
Blueberry scents for my wicked odors Lysol on back order
Sickening a smell of the "food" that you are served in jail
All these loud flushes the pipes run way deep into the ocean
Grunts keep on coming from humans can't get me out and keep gruntin'
Not coming out for no one make him grunt long as I'm breathin'
Makin' 'em grunt in the morning and carry on till the evenin'
Leavin' 'em with a taste as sour as laxatives in they mouth
See they can grunt a lot but they never gettin' me out
Come smell me now I bet I probably make you sick now
Don't I humans I'ma make you grunt so hard you say "OWW!"
(CHORUS)
I said I'm sorry Mama, I never meant to grunt so loud
I never meant to attract a crowd, But tonight I'm kinda' constipated
(REPEAT)
(VERSE 2)
I got some corn inside of me and I'm sure everybody knows it
So before they push me inside of a toilet and flush it I'ma expose it
I'll take you back to some moldy cheese
Before I ever had a human that didn't know how to pee
I was a bay maybe I was just a couple pieces of corn
My stupid bowel musta' had his intestines curved like a horn 'cause he stopped
I wonder if he'll ever let anybody by
No I don't on second thought I just really wish I could fly
I look at toilets and I couldn't picture goin' inside
Even if I was out to the edge I'd grit my teeth and I'd try
To stay inside at least to make it tough on my human today
'Cause I am only poop and I'm not comin' out, no way!
I don't wanna be pooped out which sounds kinda dumb
But the smartest thing I did was not give up and say "Out I come!"
'Cause I'da drowned heck I woulda been flushed down the pot
It's my life I'd like to show y'all how to make humans grunt
(CHORUS)
(VERSE 3)
Now I would never cause constipation just to still people's patience
Take a break from hunting just to hear these people's loud gruntin'
But put yourself in my position just try to envision
Witnessin' your mama get flushed with no say in the decision
Screaming for someone to help her while the water rushes around her
Rushin' down the pipes while the next terd out and the human gripes
My whole life I was made to believe I was pee when I wasn't
'Till I grew up now I am brown and always wearin' a frown
Wasn't it the reason you always hid mirrors from me Ma!?
So that you could try to hide my ugly face from me MA!?
Well guess what your sinkin' faster now and your voice just keeps droning
And the water's rushin' so fast you are gonna soon be lonely
And they'll never find you you'll just end up livin' in a sewer
See what hurts me the most mom is a look like King Kong
All through this song keep tellin' yourself it wasn't your fault
But how dare you try to say that I don't look like a girl
You stupid girl why couldn't you have just given birth to hurl
You 'member when Dookie lived and you said you wished he was dead
Well guess what that wasn't Dookie it was really just Fred
(CHORUS)