Song Parodies -> "This isn't a Sport, it's a NASCAR Race"

Original Song Title:

"This ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race"

Original Performer:

Fall Out Boy

Parody Song Title:

"This isn't a Sport, it's a NASCAR Race"

Parody Written by:

Anthony Cappuccio

The Lyrics

I’m a spectator
Watching North American Stock Car Auto Racing
But real fans cheer and wave signs in Indiana
But for as long as debris is flyin’ that’s the only reason I tuned in

This isn’t a sport; it’s a dumb NASCAR race
This isn’t a sport; it’s a dumb NASCAR race
This isn’t a sport; it’s a dumb NASCAR race
Don’t cry over spilt milk, this message from Pepsi-co

Tony Stewart makes UFC look mildly temperate, mildly temperate
Tony Stewart makes UFC look mildly temperate, mildly temperate

The faster they go the cockier they are
(A gutter ball with an engine)
But they get pissed when they crash their car
(Bowling is a bore fest too)
At the track CEOs put up nicotine ads
They get your cash when you
Kiss their a-a-ashes

This isn’t a sport; it’s a dumb NASCAR race
This isn’t a sport; it’s a dumb NASCAR race
ESPN? No! A big, fat disgrace
Save some gasoline, play some polo

The events that Red Bull sponsor are far more authentic, far more authentic
The events that Red Bull sponsor are far more authentic, far more authentic

Anyone with a yellow 24 on their Ford pick up
Or if you think Chevy is the way to get-r-done
Plug your ears and sing Garth Brooks

[Pre chorus line]
[pre chorus line]
(Sing it!)
[PCL]
(And the crowd goes wild!)
[PCL]
[PCLX2]

I’m an emo singer and the metaphors I make up really make no scene, really make no scene [x2]

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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment

And this race goes 555 laps! great use of the OS...

The Ghost of George Carlin (channeled by Michael Pacholek) - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment

To be a sport, you have to have a ball, and you have to have the opportunity to kick the (stuffing) out of somebody. Auto racing is not a sport. It's driving. It's turning left. You might as well call driving to work a sport. You might as well call riding the subway a sport. At least, on the subway, you have the chance to kick the (stuffing) out of somebody! All aboard the 5 train for this well-written and well-stated parody.

McKludge - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment

You're bound to piss off the race fans with this, but I agree. "What is a sport?" is a never ending argument, but I see racing as more of a contest than a sport. Racing has less to do with athleticism and more to do with the technical aptitude of the pit crew in building the best car for that track.

Anthony Cappuccio - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment

I am the author of this parody. But you know, I am probably in no position to make fun, since I am a race walker for my high school’s track team.

Silver Power - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment

Someone needs to forward this parody to Jay Jianoran...

Andria - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment

I agree with Silver Power about who would enjoy this parody, however, the pacing, humor and overall quality are far better than what we have come to expect from Mr. Jianoran in the 5 years or so that he's been submitting parodies. To McKludge: It's not the pit crew that builds race cars, it's the "race shop". The pit crew is just a bunch of mechanics who work exceptionally quickly and often wear clothes like you'd expect prisoners to wear, in other words, black-and-white stripes or solid blaze orange. This is a great start for you, Anthony, and I will give you yet another 5-5-5 vote.

Below Average Dave - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment

I liked the idea, personally I think that the pacing was pretty far off unfortunately, I won't mess with your 555 streak by abstaining from voting, because I felt the effort and Idea were strong, keep writing, and look forward to seeing you evolve as a writer, this is not a bad starting point.

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