So, once in a while, something that I own decides to explode?
Or break, shut down or self-ignite, it's a pain in the hole
And once my toaster did all four at once, what a grand spectacle
Had I not been bowling at the time, I'd be in the hospital

Still, the blasted thing is now in bits
Should take it to the tip
But I can't be stuffed so I guess it goes
On the busted item pile

This pile is gettin' mighty high and it has an awful smell
Thought that is mostly 'cuz of the microwave filled with old egg shells
I put eggs inside, boy did it blow, you could see it from space
The door was already broken though (that is how it burnt my face)

And so after I could use my eyes
To see things once again
I got home and cursed and tossed that damn thing
On the busted item pile

Ah, my TV's somewhere on the pile
Ah, my laptop's going on the pile
It's a hazard, I know, broken glass on the floor
But a trip to the tip takes too long!

And with my luck, I might guess
That my new car will soon join the rest
Of the broken things that are in a heap
Called the 'Busted Item Pile'

[instrumental]

I sit and stare at the great mound for most of the long day
Don't have a job and that's because their stuff just always breaks
But I am hungry now, the oven calls with food most likely burnt
Oh dear, I'm smelling a gas leak, and what's that on the cake? A flame?!

Those insurance guys, they didn't lie
When they said "We will pay"
So when I get home (after it's rebuilt)
Oven's going on the pile

The construction guys had better not mess
With my busted item pile

With my busted item pile