You have been washing, yes since you were 1
The art of cleanliness is what you've been taught
Creak of the cockroach has been ingrained
Boll weevils cause damage, silverfish same
Plus flies in your dustbin--your mortified soul
The rats come a-druther, all in from the cold
The bedbugs cause grief, no they are not pets
The thought of fresh maggots all bring me to sweats

To stop all that blight
You gotta do something right
But you're lost in this world, you can't stop vermin
Can't stop vermin

Chump on his arse says "There's no need to hire
That man from Orkin, do trial by fire
Go it alone, there's no need to call
Roach Motel spoils my vacationing time
With mousetraps there's a fear they'll pester you both
By chewing their legs off
Crawl back to their hole

Our house is so rife
With these creatures at night
It's worse than my aunt's house in Hoboken
We feel so ashamed
See the droppings and see all the stains
Just how in the world can we stop vermin?

Tell your mom, why not try a bug bomb?
Make your pets all gone!
After that's blown, caulk those spaces with holes
No place they can go

Next thing, you just might
Rent cats as a lark
Let them all in the rooms, let them park
To chew up the bones that's left of the old
The mice will get rattled and gored
Rattled and gored!

In apartment life
They patter during the night
They meow their voice, and I'm not jokin'
The felines defame
My divan and couch, and rip the curtains
And still in a world that can't stop vermin

Can't stop vermin
Can't stop vermin!