Song Parodies -> "Candy Store"

Original Song Title:

"Matinee (In the dark of)"

Original Performer:

Franz Ferdinand

Parody Song Title:

"Candy Store"

Parody Written by:

Blethar and Jay The Weird

The Lyrics

Candy StoreFranz Ferdinand's: "Matinee."By Blethar (A.K.A Elliot) and Jay The Weird(But only cos he's first alphabetically)

Strap a belt round me
That would astound me
Force the buckle through the hole
By golly
Now that I look thinner
And less like a whale
I could get away with
Gorging
Forcing

See me and laugh galore
I squeeze myself through double doors
I'll be one you can laugh at
Because I'm eight-tenths body fat
You'll find me in the candy zone
Chowing down on a Toblerone
I'm happy in the candy zone
That's where I'll be the candy zone all night
Yes all night

And any Diet
Makes me larger still
I'm a cheating shit
It's making me feel
That the foods I love
The desserts I love
The ice cream I love
The milkshakes I love
Mean I'll never find anyone to love
You smile, mention some way you're better
Your small frame and Size 6 figure
I'm a Jo-Brand eater.
(And you should be Jo Brand glomf)

See me and laugh galore
I squeeze myself through double doors
I'll be one you can laugh at
Because I'm eight-tenths body fat
You'll find me in the candy zone
Chowing down on a Toblerone
I'm happy in the candy zone
That's where I'll be the candy zone all night
Yes all night

Stuck on that ITV2 now
Find it quite astounding how
Rik Waller can
Get on mainstream TV now
Barrymore didn't, Anthea didn't
But that porker, looking like a cow
Oh he can now
Oh he's a cow

See me and laugh galore
I squeeze myself through double doors
I'll be one you can laugh at
Because I'm eight-tenths body fat
You'll find me in the candy zone
Chowing down on a Toblerone
I'm happy in the candy zone
That's where I'll be the candy zone all night
Yes all night

See me and laugh galore
I squeeze myself through double doors
I'll be one you can laugh at
Because I'm eight-tenths body fat
You'll find me in the candy zone
Chowing down on a Toblerone
I'm happy in the candy zone
That's where I'll be the candy zone all night
Yes all night

By Blethar (Elliot)And Jay (Jay)HUGE Thanks to Big Trixie McGibbon and the Wankettes (Noreen M., Sarah W., and Nic W.)

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Jay The Weird & Blethar - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment

Not our best work, but... meh. More in the over-eating series coming soon, including a Kim Carnes pardoy, and some crap we'll churn out to Betty Boo (probably).

Blethar - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment

Damnit, whats with the and? That comment was just YOU!

Billy Florio - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment

Pretty good....not many other than me are gonna know this song though (and even still if you gave it its correct title "The dark and the matinee")

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