(Captain's hearty laugh)

Sea food! Sea food!
Sea food! Sea food!
Sea food! Sea food!
Sea food! Sea food!

Sittin on a cruise and the weather's crap
Cast your rods and go we'll see what you catch
Your arses fill three seats it's appaulling to see
You won't get off this ship coz you've booked three weeks
You broaden your horizons with your up-class style
A mediocre cruise where the food is vile
And all I wanna see is some food to eat
The shrimp, it makes me queezy amd i'm white as sheet, oh!

Sailor, sailor, hook for hand
Yearn forever for dry land
Being sea-sick down the side
It is sticky, calling down
"Yar me harites! food for free!"
You earn a fiver Captain Smee
I'm ill, i'm ill, still no land
Is anything left in?

So have you tried these last crabs, vast crabs
Line 'em all up and rasp! gag!
Ladies, gents, upon the rafts
Better watch out for shark attacks
Engine stops working and it's hectic in here
Captain's been bitten and it's septic oh dear
Which way do you navigate? Oh ca-ha-ha-aack!
It makes no sound, we're sunk now
This boat's out, we start to sink
This heap of rust, we fight octopus
With 4 drowned it's looking bleak
So don't stop heading, heading
For somewhere better where we're
Trying not to suffocate, a-a-a-a-aaaargh!
(Crying turns into screaming)

Keep still, keep still, hold my hand
Hope that shark's got nothing planned
Keeping hope up in your mind
We'll keep swimming, trawling round
Learn from this and take from me
Don't book a cruise that you won free
Next time, next time keep it planned
And everybody wins

Don't stop swimming, swimming
Until your arms are aching
Look who that white shark just ate
The ent-re-pe-neur!
Don't stop swimming, swimming
Although the sharks are swarming
Steady on, it's you they've ate
A-a-a-a-argh
(Screaming as sharks move in)

Sea food! Sea food!
Sea food! Sea food!