Take a look at my wiener
It's the only one I got
Not much of a wiener
It never seemed to grow a lot

It's been some time since we last spoke
This is gonna sound like a bad joke
But mama I think that I'm in luck
It's safe to say I've bought a pickup truck

And you know it makes me so proud
It's got no muffler so it runs loud
It's got tires three feet wide
So please just climb in the passenger side

So aren't you jealous it's that it isn't yours?
I mean the engine's got twelve cylinders
If that ain't big, then I don't know what big is

I jacked it up to fourteen feet tall
And it's even got a set of truck balls
It cost a lot and you might think it's too big
But a guy like me needs a huge rig

(ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

Take a look at my wiener
It's the only one I got
Not much of a wiener
It never seemed to grow a lot

Take a look at my wiener
It's the only one I got
Not much of a wiener
It never seemed to grow a lot

It's been awhile since we talked last and I'm tryin' hard not to talk fast
But dad I'm gotta tell ya I bought a bround new place
The kind of house that's got whole heck of a lot of space

And I know that it cost much dough, but when you see it then you'll say "woah"
Five stories tall, that's if you don't include
The forty-foot tower that from the roof protrudes

Then there's the steel-plated doghouse
For my bullmastiff, he's no mouse
If he's not big then I don't know what big is

It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as soon as I arrive home
And I open the door take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor
That huge dog will be greeting me once more for sure

(Arf!)
(Hey, Willy! Who's been a good dog?)

Take a look at my wiener
It's the only one I got
Not much of a wiener
It never seemed to grow a lot

I've got a Glock, an AK, and a Colt all locked
Up in my basement for fun
(Such big guns!)
I've got trees gently swayin' in the breeze
Planted in my back yard
(Wood's so hard)

Got a watch on my hand with metal spikes on the band
And a leather jacket too
(Yes it's true)
I built a monument to myself
Just like Washington's but a bit taller
(My ego's huge)

Yeah you know I'm a big believer
In "go big or go home", I'm a high achiever
Call me vain call me tough call me cool or just a humongous prick
But when I'm off at work I carry the big boss's stick, like

Take a look at my wiener
It's the only one I got
Not much of a wiener
It never seemed to grow a lot

Take a look at my wiener
It's the only one I got
Not much of a wiener
It never seemed to grow a lot