ba da da
ba da da(2)

take a look at my girlfriend
shes a big blow up doll
not much of a girlfriend
i bought her at big lots

its been some time since we last spoke
this is gonna sound like a big joke
but momma ive done it agian
sayin now i have a fake girlfriend
and i know im gettin so old and stupids got me in a chokehold
cause i cant tell her from a girl thats real
layin on the mat she to me has some sex appeal

i mean she even smells like pancakes and you can she tummy never aches

if she aint real then i dont know what real is
she even gots a secret compartment
that can play music that my band makes
i know im drunk but if i had to choose her or a nun
i think id rather go chew on the scum

chorus(2)

you now shes not the one to talk back
shell never fart or talk crap
but dad i think i found the one
the type of girl that will make you upset with your son
and i know that you heard that this is a bad one
its one girl that wont last long

but i can promise this is on a whole new fate
i can tell by the when she inflates
she even gots a built in cell phone
and has the greatest little ringtone
if that aint love then i dont know what love is

i know its gonna be a long drive home
but as soon as i arrive home
ill open the door just to find her flat on the floor
shell be blowin up in my arms once more like

la la la la

chorus(2)

shes got a smile that makes her look like a petefile
annoying old bag with a fake tounge
but i still love her
she gots eyes that come in large size
and she doesnt stop there
man i swear
she has the gots a rubberish head of course she can bend
she even got a built on thong
movin on
shes makes the cuttest noise ive ever heard
and she can stay still for 12 hours not sayin one word
yeah shell be still used for somethin
and when i get way in the future
she still wont be ageing
call her fake call her dumb call her scum whatever you call it but

everywhere i go i can deflate her and put her in my wallet like that

chorus(2)