Gotta leave the wife (for the money)
To my office job (later, honey)
It's a crazy life
But now I seem quite robbed
I enter on the interstate
And there's a traffic jam (that ain't funny)
How long must I wait
I'm frustrated, so I shout, "DAMN!"

Oh, no, not today
Not today
Why today?
'Cause

Life is over, traffic stopped and
Now I'm really burning steam
Bad traffic day, for work today
There's gotta be a thousand cars in the way
No one moves, I honk the horn and
Nothing happens up ahead
Bad traffic day, still far away
What the Hell is it that's in everyone's way
Their way

Now I'm getting bored (no one's movin')
There's the radio (station cruisin')
Nothing but the sports
And the talking shows
But still, I see a line of Chevies
And a couple Mitsubishies
Why am I still waiting here
This pack'll ruin my career

Jesus, why today?
Not today
Not OK
'Cause

Haven't moved a single foot and
It should move here any day
Bad traffic day, on Saturday
'Cause SNL will be having Nick Lachey
And his wife, that's off topic
If I change it, it'd still be
Bad traffic day, won't move today
Also, my wife looks alot like Tina Fey

Since nobody moves, it seems like all time has stopped
Maybe there's a guy busted by the cops
What is going on that keeps us behind
If I am not there, I'll work overtime
Better wait until oppertunity
Brings an exit lane so that I can leave

At least for today
That's okay
I'm away
'Cause

Goin' home, I'll call the boss and
Gonna tell him that it's not
Bad traffic day, just sick today
Hope he believes me, I cannot stand this day
Gonna go sit on the couch and
On the news, it says it's
Bad traffic day, I flip away
Not gonna watch this, so I'll...

Grab a beer and pretzels and
Gonna try to keep my mind
Right off that day, bad traffic day
I heard the freeway's blocked up in all the lanes
Work is off, due to jammage
Take a break because it is
Bad traffic day, no work today
I'll just sit home and relax the day away