I think you are much fatter than me
After all the ice cream I just saw you eat
It's time to diet, son, I just seen
The first number on the scale, not two but three
I told myself ,"I forgive you
But you remember
What it feels like to be bigger."

I really miss my gut in my face
And the way french fries used to taste
I think Joe should know this
You are much fatter than me

"Joe, my son, come here to me
You know how big Daddy used to be
If there's one thing I don't wanna see
You ending up as diabetic as me."
I told myself, "I forgive you
But now remember
What it felt like when you..."

Had brought Joe up in this way
No wonder he's so damn heavy
And I think you oughta know this
He got much fatter than me

Gotta lift weights from your shoulder
You oughta run when it's colder
I can't believe
You were as big as I once was
Never should have left you where I was
This won't be the end... No...!

I really miss my gut in my face
And the way ice cream did taste
But I think you should know this
You oughta be thinner than me

In a few years we'll see
About gastric bypass surgery
I really do know this
You are much fatter than me
(I think I will notice)
Joe is much fatter than me
(Four years from now he'll be)
Joe will be thinner than me.