Broadcast dude:
This is a public service announcement
Sponsored by Some Flake and the good folks at We-Don't-Know-Our-Business
Fellow peasant peoples, it is with the utmost fear and transparency
That I must warn you of a thing that will cause complete havoc and devastation (*ahem*)
Well, that's my whole time for taping, hope you'll still have a nation!

Viewer:
Allow me to just say: what in the hell?
I still don't know (oh) what I was told, geez
That warnin' was real vague and so short, please (whoo!)
Tell me what we're against, I could not see
Any point that revealed what's what, no (ah)
Is this the fryin' pan or the whole fire?
I need the full transcript of what just transpired
See if there's a code that has been deeply engraved (ha)
"But what if you need to escape super-quick, mate?" It's fine
Those (oh) words on the screen
Are the real clinch evidence that they have shown negligence
The description of the big threat given
Had less detail than a 2 Chainz lyric in it
I gotta comb it through even if just to prove that it's bullshit
The more that I prove that it's useless (whoo!)
The more prosecutors can use if I get hit
Huge waves or dragons, they're screwed 'cause they're big dicks (hahahaha)
This was useless, dog (oh, shit)

News announcer:
Breaking news, this just in: broadcast today was a big warning all about...
Well, no-one knows, that's the real truth
But we can tell you the truth: there's nothing that's gone wrong
A mistake of some sort so sit calmly
And just remember: vague warnings like that, viewers
Only spread mad fear, dumb fear, all the fear, no doubt
But the only people to blame are the ones who lied to you, fact

Viewer:
Was it lies?
Was my scrub through the lot just a big waste of time? No, I
Can't believe it, it must all be a trick
A bait-and-switch, double-bluff con but I won't sit by
My brain cap's stuck on until I can work out
What is wand'rin' about because that's what I've brainstormed
My thoughts ain't wrong, no, I understand the game
I detect the lies tryna put restraints
On my frazzled mind, so I must re-read
Line after vague line and frame after frame (whoo!)
No, I'm still sane, may look like I've gone nuts
Because I've changed my line from "These guys have said jack-all, mate"
To "It sounded stupid on purpose to confuse us"
Wish I could say why, guess what's to blame
Is the way they smiled and acted vague
Got my brain confused, started quite a strong thought train
That Always Sunny meme 'bout Pepe Silvia?
I live in that joke, always makin' theories
Was stuck in that mode when on came the wrongsayers
Know I should let it go, they're all just brain-throb-makers
A vague-ass warning came to just get undone later
Man, I got really lost, I should stop here
You might have to punch me in the schnoz
To shut up me before I'm too gone

News announcer:
Now, back to our regular scheduled program
Classic noir: Maltese Falcon