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Song Parodies -> "My Glove Don't Catch A Thing (The Chuck Knoblauch Song)"
Original Song Title:
"My Love Don't Cost A Thing"
Original Performer:
Jennifer Lopez
Parody Song Title:
"My Glove Don't Catch A Thing (The Chuck Knoblauch Song)"
Parody Written by:
Jared Lerner
The Lyrics
Here's to you Chuckie!
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
When the Yankees signed me to a deal,
They thought that they were getting a steal
Until they saw me play 2nd Base
Overextending my arm, nailing guys in the face
Saw Steinbrenner later in his suite
Raising up a storm, that really was no treat
And his breath smells bad
Thought he was really whack
Can't the man afford to buy a frickin tic tac?
All that matter's is
I get my paycheck
I'll keep throwing in the stands
And hitting old folks WHOOOOOOO
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
When I was a Twin,
I won a Gold Glove,
Now all I can do, is pray up above,
Looks like I'm on drugs whenever I play,
But here everyone is, Bob just had some yesterday.
It's a side of me I don't want to see,
Where I learned to play, is a mystery.
If it doesn't change, I might have to go,
I just hit somebody's Mom
GOTTA RUN YO............
All that matter's is
I get my paycheck
I'll keep throwing in the stands
And hitting old folks WHOOOOOOO
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
Can't throw......... can't throw.........can't throw...........
Shit, shit, shit
Tino could stop the throws that I make,
But he had to use a damn rake.
"Throw the damn ball to first base!"
Then I can win some fans, and get cheers from the stands
I need some time in Triple A,
To show them that I ain't so bad
Cuz all I do is make them mad.
Then I can win some fans, and get cheers from the stands
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing.........
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
When the Yankees signed me to a deal,
They thought that they were getting a steal
Until they saw me play 2nd Base
Overextending my arm, nailing guys in the face
Saw Steinbrenner later in his suite
Raising up a storm, that really was no treat
And his breath smells bad
Thought he was really whack
Can't the man afford to buy a frickin tic tac?
All that matter's is
I get my paycheck
I'll keep throwing in the stands
And hitting old folks WHOOOOOOO
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
When I was a Twin,
I won a Gold Glove,
Now all I can do, is pray up above,
Looks like I'm on drugs whenever I play,
But here everyone is, Bob just had some yesterday.
It's a side of me I don't want to see,
Where I learned to play, is a mystery.
If it doesn't change, I might have to go,
I just hit somebody's Mom
GOTTA RUN YO............
All that matter's is
I get my paycheck
I'll keep throwing in the stands
And hitting old folks WHOOOOOOO
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
Can't throw......... can't throw.........can't throw...........
Shit, shit, shit
Tino could stop the throws that I make,
But he had to use a damn rake.
"Throw the damn ball to first base!"
Then I can win some fans, and get cheers from the stands
I need some time in Triple A,
To show them that I ain't so bad
Cuz all I do is make them mad.
Then I can win some fans, and get cheers from the stands
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got holes in my mitt?
I might
You think I'm making too much dough
You're Right
Even if it had glue
My glove don't catch a thing
You think I got bribed for this
You're Wrong
If I throw a ball it goes too long
Even if it had glue,
My glove don't catch a thing.........
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| 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 6 | 5 | 5 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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Knobby's on-field performance wasn't pretty, but how do you expect a man to properly throw a baseball with four World Series rings on his hand? (One in Minnesota, three in New York.) I could have killed him after that goof against Cleveland in the '98 ALCS, but all was quickly forgiven. It's not like he's Dick Stuart, a.k.a. "Stonefingers" and later "Doctor Strange-glove," may he rest in peace, and even Stuart helped Pittsburgh win the Series in '60. Still, good parody.
Gotta respect a funny sports parody. I gave it straight 4s. Good job.
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