Wayne’s World,
Is being shown for free on TV,
I’ve never seen it before,
But I really like Dana Carvey,
So this how I’ll spend my day,
I have a bag of popcorn at hand,
Just when I was gettin’ comfy,
I thought this was commercial-free, but I guess I was wrong,

Don’t want no cleaning products,
Don’t want a new Nintendo,
Don’t want no car insurance,
These minutes feel like such a waste,
Don’t want a burger flipper,
Don’t want a fondue dipper,
Or a signed pic of the Skipper,
Tell me, is this fair?

This is the way it’s been going down,
Has humanity died?
I’m in no need of a bridal gown,
With waterproof, linen sides,
It’s breaking my heart to watch them run around,
Because I know that I don’t have the time,
That’s ok, watcher, ‘cause in time you will find,

Don’t want a knife, or Boy’s Life, that’s my strife, I turn the volume down,
I flip away to USA, Moscow Today, I’m coming back around,
I don’t want prawn, Wrath of Kahn, Pokémon, oh all the stuff I’ve found,
I flip to see MTV, A&E, but it’s all the same sounds, no,

My girl came in the room to watch shows with me,
It seemed like each commercial was advertising jewelry,
I could feel her watching intently,
The funny thing about that is,
I tried flipping to Court TV,
But I found to my amazement,
They’re on every channel, I say to my money “so long”,

Don’t want a Mickey Mouse straw,
Don’t want an industrial strength bra,
Don’t want a LaserDisc of Saw,
I can’t believe, I can’t get away,
Don’t want Pac’s best rap battles,
Or coffee from Seattle,
No need for branding cattle,
I’m missing MST3K,

Is this the way they bring their story down?
I’d rather be punched in the eye,
Than sit here and watch that advertising battleground,
While I’m missing CSI,
I know it can’t be long before they run aground,
Out of things to assault my eyes,
But for now, lame, I have to sit through this line,

Don’t want no dips, fish and chips, brandy sips, I want my show back around,
E’s Top 10, CNN, Barney’s Friends, I hate the commercials’ sounds,
Don’t want no hats for my cats, baseball bats, the magnitude confounds,
The Loony Toons, Silver Spoons, Lynch’s Dune, all surrounded like it was hunting ground, no,

Every commercial sign, yeah,
I pretty much lose my mind, you should know that,
Every commercial sign, yeah,
I pretty much lose my mind, you should know that,

Don’t want a DVD,
With brand new comment’ry
With the Sean Connery,
Every show is ending this way,
Don’t want to learn no German,
Don’t want no Pee Wee Herman,
Don’t want no Sunday sermon,
Tell me, is this fair?

Is this the way that TV’s always been?
I’m missing all my shows,
Interrupted every minute or three,
I should really get TiVo,
And it breaks my heart when the show comes back to me,
Because I know that there’ll always be more,
But that’s ok, baby, because for now, the show’s all mine,

Don’t want no house, designer blouse, Mighty Mouse, I want the show back around,
I pass The Best, PBS, game of chess, there’s nothing to be found,
Don’t want no game, picture frame, fancy name, I’m tired of fooling around,
The news at eight, Hands of Fate, The Golden State, I’m back around, no,

Yup,
Yup,
Yup,
Yup,

I spend my nights alone,
Sitting in my home,
I check the messages that are on my telephone,
I get some food out,
Leftovers from this afternoon,
Turn on the TV,
This is the way it goes,
I’m depleted, see,
I have no energy,
That’s why I’m so glad to turn on my TV screen,
And see the face of Tom Servo,
Oh, maybe it was karma, but I soon got what I deserved,

It asked if I had acne,
Told me ‘bout gigabytes,
It made my car look shoddy,
And showed how to wash my whites,
Some of them were quite funny,
They just want my money,
See?

I flip around, come back around,
Every channel, hey,
I flip around, come back around,
Every channel, hey,
I flip around, come back around,
Every channel, hey,
I flip around, come back around,
Every channel, hey,

See? There’s no escaping it,

I flip around, come back around.