I don’t pay income tax
Though I’d say fiscally I do not lack
My crappy songs have made me rich in fact
Good thing they voted out the Democrats

(break) Stick it, Hillary!

All my green
Is stashed in offshore trusts in Liechtenstein
My accountant’s hotter than a movie queen
I know she’s good because her name’s Levine

(break—Fran Drescher voice) Whaddami, H&R Blockhead?

Phony logs (oh no, don’t audit)
Write off my dog (oh no, don’t audit)
IRS (oh no, don’t audit)
can kiss my ass-ets (oh no, don’t audit)
That porn shop spending spree’s (oh no, don’t audit)
On Schedule C (oh no, don’t audit)
I want to be (oh no, don’t audit)
Like Leona Helmsley (oh no, don’t audit)

Get your money back (Go ‘head, you make it)
Get your money back (Before they snake it)
Get your money back (Don’t let’em take it)
Get your money back (Only little people pay it)

All my life
I wrote off comic books and ginsu knives
I live in Utah now just to survive
Where else could I claim I had 13 wives?

(break): Number 4’s my favorite!

See this pile?
It’s so confusing now that for a while
The IRS has paid me NOT to file
Enough to buy a small Hawaiian Isle

(break) Hey, not the leper one!

A cockroach bomb (Go ahead, deduct it)
Crack for my mom (Go ahead, deduct it)
Jamaican weed (Go ahead, deduct it)
Is a business need (Go ahead, deduct it)
All my designer clothes (Go ahead, deduct it)
Boob jobs for my hoes (Go ahead, deduct it)
Even Rachel Ray (Go ahead, deduct it)
Can’t “cook books” this way (Go ahead, deduct it)

Stick it to the man (hey, they deserve it)
Stick it to the man (why not preserve it?)
Stick it to the man (or they’ll take you to the cleaners)
Stick it to the man (Chuck O’s a wiener)

I pay no tax, for sure
That’s how I pay my maid and my chauffeur
Like any other good entrepreneur
I bribe the IRS commisioner

(break) Will a twenty do?

I deduct Tic Tacs (Who would have thought it?)
Bikini wax (Who would have thought it?)
My ocelot (Who would have thought it?)
Oh, and my yacht (Who would have thought it?)
My imaginary child (Who would have thought it?)
Girls gone wild (Who would have thought it?)
My dona-tions (Who would have thought it?)
to Republicans (Who would have thought it?)

Pay no income tax (I didn’t last year)
Pay no income tax (Read JK Lasser)
Pay no income tax (no, keep that money!)
Pay no income tax (yo, just like Sony!)

(fade out on guitar riff, artist pondering aloud: “yo, what’s non-farm S-corporation capitol withholdings mean anyway? No wonder nobody pays...”)