Here's a story that's hard to tell, like a confession
I got real drunk and climbed a tree, no intervention
A furry l'il critter, it just sorta turned me on
Not quite normal, it's true, this brand new obsession

I kissed a squirrel and I dug it
I must admit, I'm excited
I kissed a squirrel just to hug it
It wasn't all that delighted
My friends all cheered
I felt so weird
I may have had too much beer
I kissed a squirrel and I dug it (and I dug it)

Yes, I know it's not serious, not like we're mating
It's just a temporary fling, like high-speed dating
It's not what sane folks do, up in a tree like this
In search of just a quick platonic kiss

I kissed a squirrel, then it hit me
Euphoria came to get me
I kissed a squirrel, I admit it
The youtube proves that I did it
It felt so strange
Am I deranged
Don't care if I catch the mange
I kissed a squirrel, then it bit me (then it bit me)

Those squirrels are just incredible
They know which nuts are edible
Cuddle-y fur that's sheddable
Not something you're into?
Don't scoff until you've smooched a few

I kissed a squirrel, it was groovy
I'm inside a Disney movie
I kissed a squirrel, it felt screwy
Just like Han Solo and Chewy
It felt so strange
Am I deranged
Home on a diff-er-ent range
I kissed a squirrel, hallelu-yee (hallelu-yee)