I can do the Maury Show rock, rock
Rock to the Maury Show rock, rock
So who’s the man?

His name is Maury, last name Povich
Delivering paternity results
One case at a time, will he be the father
Or will she leave the show more humiliated than ever?

Sometimes he’ll bring that dude known as Dave Vitalli
And Ralph Barbieri, lie detector tester
Occasionally D West will come on, too, and
You’ll see Trisha Goddard as a guest hostess

His name is Maury, last name Povich
He sometimes intervenes for wild teens
Who smoke, drink, and drug, have sex for cheeseburgers
Or for a twenty-nine ninety-nine lobster dinner (Ew!)

Sometimes he will confront a controlling husband
To put him in his place with Dave Vitalli there
But his main focus tends to be paternity
Dial 1-800-DNA-CENTER

This dude sits on the city block,
Calls his ex-girl a crazy ho,
And denies that he’s the father
And denies that he’s the father

He claims she cheated and she slept
Around with every dude in town
So he’ll deny paternity
So he’ll deny paternity

Yo, let’s do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock

All my buddies do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock outside Stamford

There’s a chick on right now with the fifth man
To be tested, can’t help but wonder if he’ll be the father
Girls feel more inclined now to keep their precious legs closed
So they won’t make an appearance on the show

It’s a lesson in common sense
(Common sense)
Use condoms if you must do it
(You must do it)
I can talk about it ‘cause I wait ‘til commitment
If you’re waiting, too, then all ya’ll sing it with me

I’m saving myself the airfare
And national embarrassment
No denying paternity
No denying paternity

I do not cheat or sleep around
I’m waiting for a man who won’t
Try to deny paternity
Try to deny paternity

Doing the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Do the Maury Show rock, rock

All my buddies do the Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Get along with your Maury Show rock, rock, rock
Videotape Maury Show rock, rock
All my buddies do the Maury Show rock, rock
Sing it with me now

All eyes on the television
Let’s see what happens to this chick
Is he the father of her kid?
Is he the father of her kid?

She sits on the stage and counts her
Chickens before they crack and hatch
Is he the father of her kid?
Is he the father of her kid?

Maury opens the envelope
The audience is on the edge
He is the father of her kid
He is the father of her kid

She cheers and hoots before she screams
In her poor baby-daddy’s face,
“You are the father of my kid!
You are the father of my kid!”