Uh-huh, what's this, then?
Oh, who'd expect to find this, not me

I clock in, punch my card in
Each day I'm findin' weird-ass shit in the "lost" bin
All my coworkers, they simply cannot fathom
Who lost this bo staff, it's simply so random

I wonder who keeps losin' all of this
Bizarre items, ev'ry day they get turned in
Like this Batman & Robin pencil case
Not shocked it's not been claimed, that film was a total disgrace
There's base- and basketballs and too many saucepan lids
(Lots of saucepan lids, yeah)
A bit concerned about this knife, it's red-tinted, yergh
Ev'ry mornin' I check the bins and smile
Cause weirdness sure abounds at the Lost and Found, Lost and Found

Things misplaced 'round the town
(Around the town, all 'round the town)
If it can't be found
It will turn up at the Lost and Found
Lost and Found
Someone's old dressing gown
Suspiciously brown
That thing turned up at the Lost and Found
Lost and Found

I never thought I'd find an ash tray, ooh
Let alone ten
Maybe someone quit smokin' and threw them away (threw all the trays away)
I can't take anything home with me
Until enough time's gone by (time's gone by)
So 'til then, this big ol' stack of shit'll
Stay here stacked up high (Oh, stuck here stacked so high)
Ev'ry day this happens
Oddball things I'm stackin'
Tennis rackets and a three-wood?
So much stuff it's like there was a moving disaster
If there was it would explain how there could
Be all this weird shit (ooh) in one city
Moving van doors unlocked, spread stuff willy-nilly
That's just my theory, it may not be right
And may not quite explain this pile of mics tonight
Nope

They got lost here in town
(Here in this town, all in one town) (oh, what's with this town?)
When things can't be found (aaaaay)
They will turn up at the Lost and Found
Lost and Found (ooh, at the Lost and Found)
A rather nice prop crown (ooooooh, shiny crown)
And much more are found (whooooah)
And get turned into the Lost and Found
Lost and Found (ooh, at the Lost and Found)
Lost and Found

Man, this town's full of butterfingered bastards
To leave behind all these thingamabobbers
Hey, there's one of those beer-drinkin' hat-type things
The fact that I can't nab it for myself just stings
Each week, more things are found, and my head, I'm just scratchin'
There's five diff'rent plushie bees, can't believe that happened
I swear it's all one guy's trick
To confuse me, that guy's a dick
That is if he exists, otherwise it's just random madness
Gotta tweet this, man, damn, nicotine patches
And they're unopened, natch, cause otherwise that is
Kinda gross, don't put rubbish in the bins, you asses
Ain't what they're for, ick, once I found a moldy cabbage
That's not right, don't you see, you should know that that's shit
OMG, I'm stuck on the sadness
I should axe it with this axe head
That I found in one of these bins
This is rad, real rad, like a rad thing
Check this man, free bags and what's this?
I'll post this on Facebook, wow, hope you like it

So I put all of these things in the stack, file 'em then just laugh
At the old blow-up doll that someone turned in, who punctured that?
Oh, and I just gotta find out who put in the bin
That bomb with the countdown meter flashin' si-ix
Whoa-oah, whoa-oh
That was somethin', I'm hopin' it doesn't blow up
Whoa-oah, whoa-oh
Cause if it does, I'll lose all this awesome stuff!

(All these things I've found)
These things get lost 'round town (Hey!)
(Around the town, all 'round the town)
Man, this town
This is one weird town
Based on what's left at the Lost and Found
(Some weird things at the Lost and Found)
Lost and Found
Some pillows, think they're down (not sure if they're down, but who cares now)
Toss them on the mound (he-hey)
Of weird things left at the Lost and Found (he-hey)
(At the Lost and Found)
Lost and Found
Lost and Found

Readin' this list, it's utter madness, hey
It doesn't matter, uh-huh
Because it lifts me up when I am down
All these things at the Lost and Found
Oh, oh, at the Lost and Found
A pile of coasters and a napkin (oh-ho)
A hook for grapplin' (mmm)
No better cure for utter boredom now (tell you now)
All these things at the Lost and Found
Yeah