Livin' with you was a slow hell
So I packed up and moved to the motel
Now I ain't seen your bitch ass in three damn days
I was takin' a dump in the bathroom
Thinkin' of the time when our love bloomed
Lord, I wonder why I ever felt that way

I flushed your picture away
Right down the toilet today
I don't need to look at you 'cause I'm doin' her
I flushed your picture away
Right down the toilet today
I don't need to look at you 'cause I'm doin' her

I thought of the day we got married
While humpin' that hot secretary
She's just half your age and her ass ain't got no cellulite
Spent the weekend with her up in Niagra
Fuelin' up on coke and Viagra
She saddled me up and then she rode me all damn night

I flushed your picture today
I watched it swirl away
I don't need to look at you 'cause I'm doin' her
I flushed your picture today
I watched it swirl away
I don't need to look at you 'cause I'm doin' her

I saw you yesterday with your sister
It made me think of how much I missed her
Since she turned sixteen she's grown a bit each day
I thought about comin' home to stay
'Cause my laundry's been pilin' up for three damn days
But one look at your face and I remembered why I ran away

Been wonderin' 'bout this for a long time:
The rest of your family looks so fine
What happened to you, Lord knows, 'cause I can't say

I banged your sister today
We did it every which way
I just called to say I want my trailer back
I banged your sister today
Right up the Hershey Highway
I just called to say I want my trailer back

I just called to say you suck! Give it back!